Everything You Have Ever Wanted To Know About PotF
by CraftyNotepad
Summary: See above.
1. Series Synopsis

**Notes and Dedications**

Disclaimer #1: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

Disclaimer #2: There is no need to tell me to finish one of my other stories. Okaie is being most thorough in that respect. This is just something to get me going.

Speaking of respect, _Thank You, Ashley! For everything, including letting me borrow (okay, "steal") from two of your marvelous stories._

Speaking of thorough:

**Dedications: Biology**

I dedicate this term paper on the migratory patterns of paper clips in Pickford to Mr. Angst, who let me write this in substitution for dissecting a pig. Thank you for your assistance with the linear regression calculations, too. You rock!

- Seth Wosmer

**CH01 Series Synopsis of Seasons 1, 2 ... ****_and 3_**

Phil of the Future's Working Title: The Out Of Towners; pilot episode manuscript drafted by creators Doug Tuber and Tim Maile on November 4, 2002.

Broadcast episodes are written with a Cold Open, followed by Act One and Act Two, and then a Tag.

Typical script has 25 scenes and is about 30 pages long. Most episodes are based upon a separate Phil-Keely story for two-thirds of the episode, intermingled with the remaining third involving Pim; both stories having messages (missives) as a moral lesson they're based upon.

.

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**Unaired Pilot Episode: 2003**

001 "**The Out Of Towners**"

In town for only a month, it's the first day at a new school for Pim, Phil, and Keely, but the Diffys' place remains off-limits to Phil's new friend, Keely, or she might just figure out that they're from the future.

Pim plots against Debbie for winning being in charge of the Back-to-School Barn Dance committee. Chick-a-boo!

Missive: We're all stuck in this time together, we're all we've got, so we better look out for each other.

.

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**Season One: 2004 - 2005**

.

101 "**Future Tutor**"

First day in school: Phil tutors Keely in Algebra.

Pim competes with Debbie for Chalk Monitor.

_Missive:_ Cliques' rule of exclusivity is foolish.

.

102 "**Future Jock**"

Phil uses the Penny Missile to become an impressive gymnast all for Keely.

Penny Missile used by Pim to launch garbage can (and be punished for it) (and get revenge on Phil for her punishment).

Missive: People will be impressed by you being yourself, instead of pretending to be someone you're not.

.

103 "**Corner Pocket**"

Phil assists Keely after cheerleader tryouts don't go well to keep the truth from her mother.

Seth silently plays billiards.

Pim tortures Debbie with raisins.

_Missive: _Your parents want you to be happy in whichever of life's path you choose.

.

104 "**You Say Toe-Mato**"

Four-toed Phil wants to go on the field trip to the tomato ranch. Phil tells Keely the truth about the Diffys being from the future.

Pim and Debbie raise money for Mr. Hackett's operation, not knowing it's for a toupee.

_Missive: _Your friends love you for who you are.

.

105 "**Meet the Curtis**"

Caveman Curtis is discovered by the Diffys.

Pim is trapped at Debbie Berwick's sleep over.

_Missive:_ Everyone has value.

.

106 "**Phenomonally Yours**"

Phil tries to get Marla not to like him.

Pim plays the gong in the orchestra.

_Missive:_ Think about what the other person's feelings.

.

107 "**Milkin' It**"

Lloyd thinks Phil's milk engine at the science fair may force the Diffys to move away.

Pim "writes" Galacta Girl stories for writing class.

_Missive:_ Take charge and make the future that you want happen.

.

108 "**We'll Fix It In Editing**"

Filming the meteor documentary piece brings out the bossy side of Phil and costs him his pals.

It's a track meet with Pim as a fast walker.

_Missive:_ Friendships can be put back together ifitwants to be.

.

109 "**Double Trouble**"

Sandwich-loving bullies Jerry and her brother Myron strong-arm Pim and Phil. Special appearance by the rabbit Cookie Junior.

Ceramic lawn ornaments are adopted from Mandy Teslow's front lawn. Curtis, what did you do?

_Missive:_ Everyone has some good inside them that can be channeled.

.

110 "**Unification Day**"

Ninth grader Phil has to decided between spending the evening with his family celebrating Uni Day's world peace, or attending an eleventh grade party with his chums.

Pim must cook Uniloaf all by herself.

_Missive:_ Precious memories lie in family traditions.

.

111 "**Your Cheatin' Heart**"

Drama class brings out the drama as Keely may have her first boyfriend, Tanner, but Phil suspects that Tanner isn't being true to her.

Pim breaks up Bradley and Debbie, so Debbie wants "Pim Lessons" to salvage the relationship.

_Missive:_ Real friends watch your back, telling you what they think, even when it will hurt you in the short term..

.

112 "**Age Before Beauty**"

The New Ager makes Keely 25 years old, old enough for Mr. Hackett to think that she's a substitute teacher and ask her out for her first date.

Pim and Bradley try to muscle bribes out of Chef DuPre.

_Missive:_ Give a relationship time to develop.

.

113 "**Phillin' In**"

To get the afterburner card for skyaking, Phil has to watch over Pim.

Lloyd and Barbara go on an automobile road trip.

_Missive:_ Make fun of your little sister and she'll get even and then some.

.

114 "**Daddy Dearest**"

A replicant of Lloyd is trained to be a cooler guest presenter of American Folk Music.

Curtis visits the dentist with a caveman-sized molar in pain.

_Missive: _You love people for their imperfections, not their "coolness."

.

115 "**My Way**"

It's a talent show and Keely needs Phil's help to overcome her stage fright.

Pim and Bradley take cared of their bag of flour, "Chuck," for Life Skills class.

_Missive:_ Victories and friends come in all sizes.

.

116 "**Team Diffy**" - plus "Gag Reel" as tag

22nd Century prankster Andy Baxley coerces Phil into pranking the new Friar Fred statue in return for giving the Diffys a lift back to 2121.

Pim makes a "good-bye" video for the Monday morning announcements.

_Missive:_ When you're pressured to do something you know is wrong, get your parents' advice.

.

117 "**Doggie Daycare**"

100 dollar Festapalooza Concert tickets require Phil, Keely and Curtis to stoop to picking up poop.

Pim pretends to be injured to make Debbie serve her.

_Missive: _Commitment to friends.

.

118 "**Tanner**"

Tanner broadcasts that Phil has been sent back to second grade to improve his penmanship.

Pim is bothered by a guilty conscience posing as Berwick.

_Missive:_ Don't care if people laugh, as long as you can laugh at yourself. (Thanks Lloyd!)

.

119 "**Future Halloween**"

An evil Debbie Berwick terrorizes Pickford by forcing students to bake cupcakes, leaving Keely, Phil and Pim to save the day.

_Missive:_ You can have too much of a good thing.

.

120 "**Raging Bull**"

Razzed Phil goes to the 50s dance without Keely, but with Myron and a bull instead.

Pim trains Curtis to be her dad for a home parent conference as Barbara and Lloyd celebrate their wedding anniversary.

_Missive: _Even when you've ticked them off you can always depend on your real friends.

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121 "**Neander Phil**"

Malfunctioning Wizrd randomly exchanges the minds of Phil and Curtis during a date.

Pim fights off Debbie's celebration of their friendship, yet even trying yoga doesn't help one bit.

_Missive:_ Be yourself.

.

.

**Season Two: 2005 - 2006**

.

201 "**Virtu-Date**"

Virtu-Goggles allow Phil and Keely to visit a virtual mall of the future where Phil becomes jealous of Keely's attention given to Robby, their android waiter.

Fashion Zombies ostracize Pim from their sleep over.

_Missive: _Friendship can bloom into something new.

.

202 "**Versa Day**"

Squabbling siblings sent schoolward: Pim causes embarrassments for Phil, while Phil protects Pim from Fashion Zombies' revenge.

Lloyd and Curtis go job hunting.

_Missive:_ Never judge a person until you've walked a mile in her boots.

.

203 "**Dinner Time**"

Old-fashion dinner party to fool new neighbor Mr. Hackett goes awry due to a time hole.

Pim trying to sell the house during the party.

_Missive: _Cut the hedges the way Lloyd tells you to.

.

204 "**The Giggle**"

Not studying changes Keely's future for the worse, so it's up to Phil and Keely to pass Mr. Messerschmitt's Omicron Gambit to save Keely's future.

Pim and Curtis go to a scary movie.

_Missive: _Take responsibility when your actions hurt others; fix things.

.

205 "**Mummy's Boy**"

Curtis chaperones the museum field trip where Phil retrieves a time machine temporal pump valve and Keely is introduced to her new camera operator Owen.

Pim vs. Ms. Mip, the substitute teacher.

_Missive:_ Friends have their own lives and other commitments that sometimes get in the way, but they still love you.

.

206 "**Tia, Via, or Me... Uhh**"

Tired of doing "girl-things" with Keely, Phil introduces her to the new girl in school, Via, and then misses out on spending time with Keely.

After ten months in the Twenty-first Century, Pim finally unpacks and has to deal with Barbara's involvement in redecorating her daughter's bedroom.

_Missive: _Tell those closest to you your true feelings and there will be fewer conflicts.

.

207 "**Get Ready to Go-Go**"

School dance, but the time machine is fixed, so Keely asks out Owen instead. Via asks out Phil.

Teased by the Candida, Pim makes her own date.

_Missive:_ Distractions aside, some people are just meant to be together.

.

208 "**Phil Without A Future**"

Career Day Supervisor Mr. Messerschmitt insists on Phil deciding on what he will do with the rest of his life.

Pim tries out a career as a corrections officer.

_Missive:_ It's your own life to live as You Want.

.

209 "**Happy Nirday**"

Phil tries to make Keely's birthday special, but his efforts are hampered by Lloyd's removal of all the batteries from their future gadgets, including the skyak.

Pim has her first crush (Simon) and the worst hair day possible.

_Missive:_ The best gifts are the personal ones.

.

210 "**Time Release Capsule**"

A to-be-buried time capsule and a note to themselves can undo the Diffys ever being stuck in Pickford, even undo Phil and Keely.

Pim turns an ailing science rat into an extremely profitable scam.

_Missive: _Value true friendship because it lasts forever.

.

211 "**Maybe-Sitting**"

Phil and Keely try to baby-sit Mr. Messerschmitt's misbehaving nephew, but resort to using the New Ager.

Pim markets volcanoes in the garage.

_Missive:_ Make a promise, keep a promise.

.

212 "**Ill of the Future"** - Greenemia runs rampant through the Diffy household.

Keely accepts a date from the football quarterback.

_Missive:_ Trust your instincts and don't be swayed by really bad advice.

.

213 "**Christmas Break**"

While decorating the Diffys' tree, Phil reveals the first time that he saw Keely.

Lloyd recalls the purchase of their house.

_Missive:_ Buy an Astro Tree; it's guaranteed not to kill us.

.

214 "**Good Phil Hunting**"

Keely is mistaken for a math genius and becomes the role model for the advanced math students while Phil is stuck doing her homework.

Pim uses static electricity to get revenge on Candida.

_Missive:_ Everyone has gifts that others find valuable.

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215 "**Stuck In the Meddle With You**"

Keely plays matchmaker for Grace and Grady without realizing that Grace really likes Phil.

Clairvoyant manipulates superstitious Mr. Hackett.

_Missive:_ Phil's right. No, they get together, so Keely's right. Wait, it's that some people can't see their perfect match even when they're right in front of them.

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216 "**Where's the Wizard**?"

Phil's missing Wizrd falls into the hands of Danny Dawkins, then Vice-Principal Hackett, so Keely and the Diffys pose as aliens to trick Hackett into handing it back over to them.

_Missive:_ Um, Pim always has a plan that she can sell ... always have pudding handy for protection ... no, wait, hand back the Astrolator when you're first asked and maybe you'll get to keep your new physique and locks? Oh, I don't know ...

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217 "**Pim-Cipal**"

Pim becomes Principal For the Day, fires Neil Hackett, and becomes a despot.

"White Panther" and "Mr. Fuzzy Bear" plot her overthrow.

_Missive:_ When you see something is wrong, work to change it.

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218 "**It's a Wonder-Phil Life**"

Phil exposes his secret to the world, becoming the BFMOC, but losing Keely in the process.

Pim cheats in weight lifting competition.

_Missives:_ One true friend is everything. The only person you're competing to be better than is you.

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219 "**Broadcast Blues**" - plus "Gag Reel" as tag

To rake in the bucks, Pim tricks Keely from investigative news reporting to infomercials.

Phil wants Keely back doing real news.

_Missive:_ To thine own self be true.

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220 "**Phil of the Garage**"

When Lloyd destroys the floor of Phil's bedroom, sloppy Phil moves into the garage with Curtis and takes over with his new found independence.

Curtis moves into Phil's old room and spills the beans about Pim's tunnels.

_Missive:_ The grass isn't always greener.

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221 "**Not-So-Great Great Great Grandpa**"

The lame prankster at school is actually Barbara Diffy's great grandfather and interfering with his future can delete Barbara, Phil and Pim.

Pim has a plan to set events right.

_Missive:_ Working together, even overwhelming problems can be solved.

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222 "**Back to the Future (Not the Movie)**"

Finally admitting their feelings, Phil and Keely become a couple.

Pim uncovers that Lloyd had known how to fix the time engine all along.

The time machine goes back to the future without Keely (or Curtis); although, there is a dramatic good-bye scene in front of the entire school.

_Missive:_ Clever fans decide if the story goes on, not Disney.

.

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**Season Three: 2006 - 2007**

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301 "**Dr. Phil**"

The boys of H. G. Wells come to Phil for advice on romancing.

Lloyd isn't happy with the attention Barbara is getting from their butcher and Keith, the water guy.

_Missive: _"No" means no.

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302 "**Philling Station**"

Driver's Ed. training starts up and so does Phil's after school job.

Pim and Simon prank the morning news broadcasts - more fun than pulling a fire alarm.

_Missive: _You "gots" to pay your dues.

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303 "**Phil-losopher's Stone**"

Mayor DeLuca wants a real golf course - too bad! Keely doesn't want the trees in the park chopped down - where will the squirrels live?

Curtis learns to bake and competes against Barbara in the Pickford Bake-Off competition.

_Missive:_ Mighty oaks from little acorns grow.

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304 "**Nicely Philled Jeans**"

It's the Valentine's Day Dance and the new girl wants Phil and doesn't care squat about "the code."

When Owen has competition for Via's heart Pim sells him a 22nd Century Philter, then Seth wants to use it!

_Missive:_ Manufactured love isn't.

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305 "**Phil-abuster**"

Phil and Keely face one another on the debate squads.

Principal Tillywack returns on campus and Neil Hackett doesn't like being Number Two.

_Missive:_ Don't sweat the small stuff.

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306 "**Over-Phil**"

Phil and Keely step up when Miss Navia and Chef DuPré are depressed that the Feed The Hungry drive is languishing.

Pim uses the time engine's singularity to dispose of Pickford's overflowing garbage dump.

_Missive:_ An avalanche is made up of little snowflakes.

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307 "**There's Something Special Written in the Stars**"

Teenagers take romantic over night field trip to the Pickford Planetarium with Mr. Hackett in charge.

Pim crosses wills with Via.

_Missive:_ "When you wish upon a star...dreams really do come true."

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308 "**Tee-uh Time**"

Phil and Keely, Owen and Via, and Seth and Tia compete against one another in the Pickford Partners Miniature Golf Tournament.

Curtis steals Barbara's spotlight when she invites neighbors over for a party.

_Missive: _Life_ - _do you play to win, or play to have fun?

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309 "**Wizrd's Night Out**"

Pim's overworked Wizrd's sprite escapes into the school's computer network and it's far worse than Pim ever was. Now Pim need's her big brother's help ... and Blondie's before the sprite get tired of tormenting at school and goes global.

Lloyd runs out of pretzels.

_Missive: _Cheese pretzels are the best.

.

310 "**Coffee Break**"

At the Cocoa Palace after their fight, we get into their heads as Phil and Keely let us in on their reflective thoughts and feelings through voice overs.

Pim and Via enter a bidding battle as budget cuts result in single male teachers being auctioned off as a school fundraiser.

_Missive: _Feelings run deep.

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311 "**Had Your Phil Of Hackett?**"

When Curtis catches Hackett inside the time machine, they go for an unscheduled jaunt through time with Phil and Keely snared outside by the temporal flux.

H. G. Wells Teachers share their suspicions about who's pranking them.

_Missive:_ Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.

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312 "**Trading Up**"

Time Crumpler Component disrupts the Wave Generator and everything within five kilometers gets an upgrade to 2121 standards, so the government wants to know why the epicenter is at ... Neil Hackett's house. Oh, he tries to shift attention away from himself by telling investigators that they've got the wrong man, that he's just a poor teacher and that it's his weird alien-type neighbors that are culprits that they should be hauling away for incarceration and vivisecting. Doesn't work too well though. The Diffys are checked up on, but they actually seem normal and harmless. Sure, they have a boarder with an accent living in their garage, but the environment is clean and the elder Diffys have promised to get it up to building code standards. Only a couple of computers in the house that they could find and those are used by the younger Diffys for school work. Yes, there's is a blender in the kitchen that glows blue - must be the latest fad. Mom isn't the best cook - typical American in the 21st Century. With the rest of the family's help distracting other investigators Lloyd inverses the time machine's chameleon setting just as a governmental agent steps inside. Looks perfectly normal inside (he misses the big show outside as we get to see the true image of the time machine finally (weldenart_dot_com_slashartistslashGraphicsslashGraphicsAndThumbsslas hship6dotjpg)) and Mr. Diffy flips setting back to disguising the outside of the vehicle just as they both exit. The Diffys actually survive Lloyd's worse nightmare concerning government spies.-_

Candida pumps Curtis for information. She's so much more devious and thorough than the CIA, FBI, and ADA (American Dental Association) could ever dream of being. Curtis basically spills the beans as best he can. Only his broken Ingrish, distractibility, personal hygiene, and, let's face it, hideous fashion sense prevent Candid from connecting all the dots and learning the truth about the Diffys.

_Missive_: You can have secrets, you can have a family, but you can't have family secrets.

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313 "**Honeymooners**"

Phil takes Keely to the Moon for her birthday.

Barbara invites Mandy over for dinner.

Lloyd and Curtis go out on the town. It's GNO: Guys' Night Out!

_Missive: _Two's company, three's a crowd.

.

314 "**Phil Up Your Plate**"

The Diffys, Teslow and friends make plans for Thanksgiving.

Curtis brings home some homeless.

_Missive: _We're all in this together.

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315 "**Phil 'Er Up**"

Tanner videos Phil and Keely skyaking.

Tia tries sitting through an entire ESPN Billiard regional semifinals match with Seth.

_Missive: _Seeing is believing.

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316 "**A Tomato In the Hand ...**"

This Halloween, Pickford's farms are being pilfered of their precious fruit; turns out they're floating away!

Deborah Berwick returns. This time she's doing more than pushing cupcakes, People!

_Missive:_ What comes up, must fall down.

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317 "**The Big Phil-Ball Game**"

Phil's high score on the pinball machine is beaten by a new comer who's developed a following for being sleazy.

As her punishment Pim is assigned decorating the gymnasium for a school dance.

_Missive:_ What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object.

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318 "**Punxsutawney Phil**"

Pickford is hit by a freak snow storm. Can Phil and his family bring Spring about early?

Mandy Teslow and Neil Hackett compete in a shopping spree at the Pickford Town Mall.

_Missive:_ Always be prepared.

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319 "**Three To Make Ready**"

Three Pickfordites discover the Diffys' secret, each with different plans on what to do with this fantastic news.

Mandy Teslow moves into the Diffys for the weekend while her water pipes are replaced.

_Missive:_ A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and a lot can be downright terrifying!

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320 "**Monkey Juggling**"

Lloyd's greatest fears seem justified as governmental forces large and small converge on the Diffys.

Via tutors Owen in love.

_Missive:_ Fun as a barrel of monkeys? A barrel of monkeys is also filled with monkey poo.

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321 "**Rat Snacks**" - plus "Gag Reel" as tag showing off the Jonas Brothers guest staring (you deserved something for reading this far, I figured)

Students start having strange side effects from Pim's business education class project using future foods. How many fingers am I holding up? Seventeen? Okay, you're fine.

Phil and Keely double date with Barb and Lloyd. Not so bad, really.

_Missive:_ You are what you eat.

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322 "**in-PHIL-traitor**"

Phil is replaced by a Wizrd Corp. rival to tap Lloyd for industrial secrets, but how will the traitor handle early 21st Century Pickford and Keely?

Pim runs amuck without Phil cleaning up her shenanigans.

_Missive:_ "A Phil in the hand is worth two in the bush" - nah; um, "the Phil is always greener on the ..." No, that episode's been done already. I know! "A priest, a nun and Phil walk into a bar ... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!"

.

323 "**Tempus Exspecto Pro Una Femina - Time Waits For One Woman**"

Wizard beams converge and Keely is trapped in a stasis time bubble; will Phil still be alive when her bubble bursts, or will he convince the rest of the family to leave Pickford and travel back to the future to be with Keely?

Curtis is immensely popular on Facebook and eHarmony; who'd have guessed?

_Missive:_ Irony – it's just so, so, ... ironic.

.

.:.


	2. The Diffys

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

Perched on a stool bought on a government purchase order for seventeen million dollars, a man in black wished that there had been enough money left over to have an air conditioner inside his dark van, instead of the battery powered fan he shoplifted from the 99-cent Store. Departmental budgets had gone into extreme belt tightening and he'd had to punch out a few extra holes in his belt, literally. No laptop, no uplink to the mainframe, no, all he had to work with in this hot metal box was a flashlight on his keychain from which to review the surveillance reports on the suspects, a family, they claimed. It had been an anonymous tip which drew their activities to his department's attention, and considerable data had been compiled about them for two years, now, but then there was an anomaly, plus the cutbacks, and there was the outbreak of people's faces turning green and growing white beards. Yeah, that was a hoot.

Anyway, most of his colleagues had lost interest in these subjects, some even refused to admit that they remembered them at all, but not him. No, there was something disturbing about this typical American family, something not right, but he still couldn't pin it down. Sighing, he wiped the sweat from his eyes, swore at the fading light of his LED, and reviewed their file for, what, the millionth time?

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**THE DIFFYS**

Tall parents, short kids.

All members of the family except for Lloyd make a strict habit of wearing some form of jewelry around their neck.

Only four toes on each foot, pinkie toe missing as everyone's will in 2079. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Family Game Night **(Phillin' In)**

Parents don't have specific sides of the bed. In **(Meet the Curtis)** Barbara is on the left side of the bed; in** (Phil of the Garage)** she's on the right.

Diffy Family Motto: Never give up. **(Virtu-Date)**

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**Phil Diffy:**

Seen older once in series: 75 years old **(Age Before Beauty)**

Witnessed mentally younger once in series: 5 years old (**********Maybe-Sitting)**  


Favorite snack is a fried bologna sandwich. **(Phillin' In)**

Perfectionist **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

Wears Omkar pendant around neck.

Phil never orders the fish in any century. **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Imaginary Middle School was Mount Kitty Mug Middle School; "Go Muggers! Meow!"; Made-up guidance counselor name Mr. Littletree** (Phil Without a Future)**

Keely give him a new identity when she tries to break him out of detention: Lord Stuffington, Duke of Shopshire (Yeah, she would pick "Shop"-shire!) **(Phil Without a Future)**

Phil was mean to Pim growing up, such as putting the last butterscotch pudding cup in her shampoo.

Laser Squash player **(Unification Day), (It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Comet racer **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Has a small swatch of his baby blanket for comfort - like father, like son. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Phil's missing report is on the novel The Last of The Mochians. **(Where's the Wizard?)**

Always cracks nuts when he's upset, and he knows his nuts by name. **(Team Diffy)**

Has been statufied by Andy Baxley's Wizrd **(Team Diffy)**

Super rapid typist. **(Tanner)**

Started P & K Daycare (a full-service doggie service) with Keely and Curtis to raise the money for Keely and Phil to go to Festapalooza. P & K Daycare yellow bandanas with orange lettering are their signature free gift tied around dogs' neck. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Duplicated Sir Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein to help him with Keely's advanced math homework. **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Salt and Pepper Shakers: "To Maude, You spice up my life, Love Chico." Phil is the salt, Kelly is the pepper; received by accident instead of an engraved picture frame that Keely intended. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

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_Aliases_:

Blake Bastille - **(Age Before Beauty)**

Planned to be 30 year-old professional baseball player boyfriend to "Miss Vanderhoosey," but turns out to 75 year-old with false teeth who nicknames himself "Hot Wheels". Fifty year age difference and she still claims him.

Number 3 on his green jersey.

Dash Unicorn - Phil's regrettable choice for his new code name for the proposed Fish Stick Fridays Rebellion. **(Pim-cipal)**

Mr. Fuzzy Bear - Unofficial code name that Keely assigns to Phil. **(Pim-cipal)**

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_Nicknames_:

Philly-Willy - by Marla **(****Pheromonally Yours)** and by Keely **(Age Before Beauty)**;

Sweetie-Pie - by Keely **(Dinner Time)**;

Future-Boy - by Pim **(Christmas Break)**;

Troll Boy - by Keely **(Ill of the Future)**

Salt - by himself **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**;

Buddy Boy - by Lloyd **(Tanner)**

Phil-thy (Phil-thee) - by Owen **(Happy Nirday)**

Diffo - by Myron** (Raging Bull)**

Pumpkin-head - by Mandy Teslow **(Corner Pocket)**

Philly-Cheese Steak - by Owen **(Mummy's Boy)**

Big Differ - by Owen

Dr. FrankenDiffy - by Owen **(Via, Tia, or Me... Uhh)**

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**Pim Diffy**:

Craves world domination, even reads World Domination Weekly **(Happy Nirday)**

Often wears gloves with fingers partly cut off mid-digit.

Talks to herself out loud.

Has attracted the amorous interests of Bradley, Simon and Danny.

Won election against Debbie Berwick to become Chalk Monitor, whose duties included clapping all erasers at school. **(Future Tutor)**

Sleeps with a green stuffed animal frog** (Future Jock)**

Admits to waking up evil each morning** (Future Jock)**

Likes people who are devious, evil and enjoy manipulating people** (Future Jock)**

Likes low-sodium turkey jerky; other kind gives her gas. **(Daddy Dearest)**

Spackles stuff every Tuesday **(Daddy Dearest)**

"It's what I do." **(Daddy Dearest)**

Has a squeeze bottle of "Sabotage Glue" **(Happy Nirday)**

Sign on bedroom door says: "Keep Out or Else" - **(Phil of the Garage)**

Drifters are hired by Pim for her schemes **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Excellent at making growling noises. **(Double Trouble)**,** (Phil of the Garage)**

Suffers pesky background checks just to rent a bulldozer. **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Kidded by Phil for really being a robot **(Phil Without a Future)**, and may actually be one! **(Future Halloween)**

Has Androider attachment for her Wizrd, **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Best to stay clear of her until she's had her morning juice and newspaper. **(Ill of the Future)**

Digs Tunnels at night. Has at least four at the Diffys' **(Phil of the Garage) **and one at Debbie Berwick's house.

Plans on breeding and market attack squirrels. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Has no freckles on her face. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Admits that she is from the future in video played in school-wide Monday Morning Announcement. **(Team Diffy)**

Presented Curtis as her father to Ms. Winston at a home parent conference. **(Raging Bull)**

Can tap dance **(Doggie Daycare)**

Talks like a sailor in her sleep, Debbie thinks. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Eats chop suey before taking a nap **(Tanner)**

Pim's eyes glow just like Debbie Berwick the robot at the end of the Halloween episode.**(Future Halloween)**

Phil points out that Pim never has a point, only an angle. **(Broadcast Blues)**

.

_Attitude T-shirts_:

ANGEL MOTORS **(Double Trouble)**

ASK ME IF I CARE **(Daddy Dearest)**

BACK OFF [Debbie Berwick wears "BACK OFF (please)"]** (Your Cheatin' Heart)**

BAD ATTITUDE**(Corner Pocket)**, **(Age Before Beauty)** and ******(Daddy Dearest)**

BLAME MY PARENTS** (Meet the Curtis)**

BUY ME STUFF ******(Doggie Daycare)**

CHIT-CHAT (with a picture of a pink telephone)** (Tanner)**

DIVE IN (Scuba)** (Happy Nirday)**

I MAKE BOYS CRY**(Age Before Beauty)**

I (Heart) NERDS**(Neander-Phil)**

I'M SORRY, DID IT LOOK LIKE I WAS LISTENING? (Red t-shirt)**(Future Jock)** and******(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

I Rock! **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

IT WASN'T ME (Lavender t-shirt with white lettering)**(Raging BULL)**

JE SUIS AVEC STUPIDE. ("I'm with Stupid" in French)****** (Team Diffy)**

MISS BEHAVIOR**(Double Trouble)**

NOTHIN TO WEAR **(Team Diffy)**

PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED**(Team Diffy)**  


PUNK 08

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF (Long sleeved blue with pink lettering)** (Tanner)**

SWEET AS CANDY (huge pink letters on blue shirt with white collar and cuffs)**(Neander-Phil)**

SWEET LIKE CANDY (Red with two crossed candy canes under words in arc)**(Christmas Break)**

TALK IS CHEEP **(Future Tutor)**

image: toucan **(Where's the Wizard?)**

TROUBLED GIRL **(Phillin' In)**

WHEN I SNAP MY FINGERS YOU WILL DISAPPEAR **(My Way)**

.

**Lloyd Diffy****:**

Paranoid about Diffys being discovered as being from the future.

Never had a skyak when he and Barbara were dating.

Often puttering on Time Machine's Time Engine.

Wears a wide gold wedding band.

Likes po'boy sandwiches. **(Meet the Curtis)**

works for Wizrd Corp. **(Phil Without a Future)**

Positronic Engineer **(Versa-Day)**

Cleans his feet with a half-hour soak in a vinegar bath followed by a dusting of cornmeal **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Used to give Phil lectures on biotron engineering on Saturday nights **(Phil Without a Future)**

Posed as Investigator Dawkins of "the Bureau" at Invention Expo **(Milkin' It)**

Enjoys Mexican wrestling videos with Curtis **(Double Trouble)**

Uses disco ball to attempt to fix time machine **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Called Keely "Kee"** (Maybe-sitting)**

Tall man, a nice man **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

His hair was longer when he was younger and dating Barbara. **(Corner Pocket)**,**(Time Release Capsule)**

Once fired when Pim used the NewAger on him and he was fired when he told his boss that he made a poopy. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Has a small swatch of his baby blanket for comfort - like father, like son. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Oh, so easily distracted. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Loves American folk music **(Daddy Dearest)**

Plays Washboard **(Daddy Dearest)**

Plays Bluegrass Three Thousand jaw-harp with a beveled tweenie **(Daddy Dearest)**

Some of Lloyd's favorite American folk songs: "Froggy Went a Courtin'," "Millie Kissed a Catfish," and "Milk In a Jar," "Pollyanna Tadpole Fell Down a Well"**(Daddy Dearest)**

Snorts when he laughs. **(Daddy Dearest)**

**.**

**_Aliases_:**

**Agent Dawkins from The Bureau - (Milkin' It)**

**.**

_Nicknames_:

"Soda Pop"** (Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

"Popsicle" **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

"Daddy-Poo"** (Where's the Wizrd?)**

**.**

_Expressions:_ "Great Gobs of Gelt!" **(Christmas Break)**

.

**Barbara (Barb) Diffy****:** Not in the episodes **(Daddy Dearest)** and **(Pheromonally Yours)**

Original concept in distributed promotional material was for Barbara to have a robotic body that was detachable at the neck, hence her preference for wearing chokers.

Favorite belt is plastic colored disks joined by metal wire between disks. **(Milkin' It)**

Almost married Lloyd's college roommate, Rex. **(Pheromonally Yours)**

Tries to cook without having a clue and treats Hackett's cold the old fashion way**(Mummy's Boy)**, but is a better sculptor.

Her short red hair was brunette and longer when she was younger and dating Lloyd.**(Corner Pocket)**, **(Time Release Capsule)**

Complicated relationship with her mother. **(Corner Pocket)**

Her mother didn't approve of Lloyd at first - she wanted Barbara to marry an astro-surgeon. **(Corner Pocket)**

Churning butter, Barbara converts 21 quarts of milk into one measly pat of butter.**(Corner Pocket)**

Maiden name was Speckle. **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

She is a sucker for meteorological phenomenon. **(Via, Tia, or Me... Uhh)**

.

**Diffys Mentioned Only In Passing:**

Phil's **Uncle Milt **is dead - Unseen: Lloyd made Milt's lips look like a fish's at the funeral with his Instamorph. **(Pheromonally Yours)**

.

**Lloyd has a brother **who he doesn't want to get his collectible astronauts cards. Unseen. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

.

**East Side Diffys **- Take Lloyd's advice and don't talk about them. Their family motto: "Hey! What are you lookin' at?" (Virtu-Date)

.

**Honorable Mention:**

**Chuck** - Pim and Bradley's sack of flour for Life Skills class. True, not a wet corpuscle in his entire body, er, bag, and admittedly Chuck was more "assigned" than adopted, still, Pim did experience a wide spectrum of what parenthood is about by way of this taped, band-aided, and stapled together bag of ground wheat. We mourn his demise, which while totally predictable, came too earl- no, he lasted longer than we figured. We hardly knew ye, Chuck. **(My Way)**

.

**Mrs. Speckle** - Barbara's mother - Unseen: Barbara face is shown in flashback talking to her mother about Lloyd **(Corner Pocket)**

.

**Kyle Speckle** **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Barbara's great grandfather.

Tall, black hair, with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Plays lame pranks with no wow factor or exit strategy.

Sent to military school after being expelled from H. G. Wells for pulling pranks.

Meets his wife-to-be Petunia Smuck at military school.

.

**Petunia Smuck** **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Unseen: described through her history with Kyle Speckle.

Barbara's great grandmother

Meets Kyle Speckle in military school and marries him soon after.

.

**Rex** - Lloyd's college roommate - Mentioned in passing. **(Pheromonally Yours)**

Lots of women chasing after him in college; resorted to using a DNA Scrambler to scare them away.

Barbara almost married Rex, but Lloyd doesn't like to talk about it.

.

**The Timekeeper** - Looks like Barbara Diffy, but with long curly hair; monitors time travelers that break the rules. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

.

"There's got to be a clue here that I'm not seeing. Probably right in front of me. If only - WHAT'S THAT?"

The department's black van shook violent, as if someone was trying to get in, no, turn it over! Had he been discovered? Was it the Diffys committing a first strike, taking out one of the only agents still intent on uncovering their secrets? At least his death would serve a purpose, drawing attention to the Diffys once more. This time, they would go down. This time - the van started to tilt up on its back wheels and a scratchy beeping erupted, like from an old speaker box from a drive-in movie theater. The nameless man pulled out his wallet to verify what he already knew - he lacked the funds to pay the fine for parking on the Diffys' street on a Tuesday. Oh, bother.

* * *

**Best**

**CraftyNotepad**

**November 16, 2008**


	3. Curtis

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

.

"Yanoosh Ing! Get your sorry self in here, now!"

"Yes, Chief?"

"Don't call me 'Chief!'"

"Right, Chief."

"(Groan) Is you piece on the Pickford Potato Polka ready yet?"

"I, uh, haven't gotten around to shooting that story, yet, Chie- Boss."

"And why is that, Ing?"

"Well, I'm working on this other story, it's monumental! Why don't we just rerun the footage from last year's Potato Polka? You've seen one potato dancing, you've seen them all," Yanoosh smiled, trying to sell his pitch. Didn't work.

"Tell me about this story," his boss baited him with her practiced act of sincere interest. He fell for it. He always did.

"Well, you know."

"NOT THE WILDMAN WHITE ELEPHANT TALE AGAIN?"

"It's all right here, Chief. Just, please, look again at my notes."

His boss threw Yanoosh's collection of notes, many of them written on the backs of greasy hamburger wrappers, out of her office. Yanoosh followed.

"Now, get your dancin' clogs on and get me some new footage of russets dancing about to accordion music. MOVE IT, ING! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!"

Getting down on his hands and knees like some wild animal, Yanoosh Ing clutched for and scrambled after his notes which were now blowing about on the floor of the newsroom. Darn cutbacks. Those fans caused him much more problems than the air conditioner ever would have. Carefully, he searched for each and every tidbit, glancing in recognition of the intelligence he had gathered:

.

* * *

.

**Curtis**

A Cro-Magnon caveman who stowed away on the family's time machine and now lives in their freestanding garage with a leaky roof.

Curtis quickly learns English.

Curtis is often used in Pim's schemes. **(Team Diffy)**,** (Tanner)**, ******(Raging** Bull), **(The Giggle)**, **and (Good Phil Hunting)**

Prefers wearing his traditional furs for clothing and boots.

Has been known to carry a spear about town.

Phil renames him "Curtis" upon rediscovering him under the kitchen sink in the 21st Century. **(Meet the Curtis)**

Keely gave him a bracelet made of rubberbands which she ran up to his right biceps. **(Meet the Curtis)**

Bit Mr. Hackett on his left calf in an H.G. Wells's hallway while class was in session. **(Meet the Curtis)**

His first words in English were "Bye Phil" **(Meet the Curtis)**

_As "Dad" and "Uncle Curtis" at Pim's parent-teacher conference_ **(Raging Bull)**

_As field trip chaperone _**(Mummy's Boy)**

Knits **(Mummy's Boy)**

Hunts animals around Pickford and eats those that are "not fast runners." **(Phil of the Garage)**

Knows a lot about rocks – I mean "A LOT!" **(The Giggle)**

His favorite treat is Walla Berries -"Wacky for Walla Berries" **(Phillin' In)**

Over indulging in Yikki Sticks caused Curtis's toothache. **(Daddy Dearest)**

His girlfriend in prehistoric times was named Vanessa. **(Mummy's Boy)**

Ancient "friend" was Oog. **(Mummy's Boy)**

Wears his wristband that he retrieved from Oog in the museum's display case. **(Mummy's Boy)**

Traveled back to Victorian times to the opening night of Romeo and Juliet. **(Dinner Time)**

Traveled back to Colonial times to go on fishing on a boat with George Washington crossing the Delaware River. **(Dinner Time)**

Likes number 2 pencils, soft; enough in his stomach to upchuck a bird house, then adds, "Excuse Me." (Those manners lessons with Keely and Phil stuck!) **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Learned how to generate massive amounts of static electricity by imitating Pim.** (Good Phil Hunting)**

Likes Balloons **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Has been to dentist office, but door removed his aching tooth - not the dentist, nor even Barbara. **(Daddy Dearest)**

Diffys return to fetch the forgotten Curtis in last episode** (Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

Works at Mantis Hardware, even persuaded owner to hire Lloyd as his part-time trainee. **(Versa-Day)**

Name tag at works reads: "HELLO ME CURTIS" **(Versa-Day)**

Calls the garage "Curtis Cave" **(Phil of the Garage)**

Ceremony of Cave thanks Sun, Earth, Wind. Takes 3 days. Skipping Wind cuts ceremony to two minutes, tops; but the Wind is persnickety, so skipping the Wind is not recommended. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Curtis proclaims that "spirits happy with Curtis" while enjoying meat he has found. **(Dinner Time)**

Has "books" of drawings on animal skins, presumably from "not fast runners" **(Phil of the Garage)**

Better handyman than Lloyd. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Played "fetch" with a ball with Andy Baxley in the Diffys' backyard. **(Team Diffy)**

Claimed at a distant cousin of Pim's by Barbara **(Daddy Dearest)**

Phil calls Curtis "C Man." **(Doggie Daycare)**

Pim calls him "Jurrasic the Clown"** (Phil Of the Garage)**

Does not bathe himself, but instead required others to bathe him, at least once in a kiddie pool. **(Phillin' In)**

.

_Aliases:_

"Man-Beast" **(Meet the Curtis)**

"_Dad" and "Uncle Curtis" _**(Raging Bull)**

distant "Cousin Curtis" **(Daddy Dearest)**

"C Man"** (Doggie Daycare)**

**.**

_Pickfordians Whom Have Met Curtis:_

**The Diffy Family** - knows Curtis is a real Cro-Magnon

**Keely Teslow **- knows Curtis is a real Cro-Magnon

**Debbie Berwick** - knows Curtis from a visit at the dentist office where Barbara Diffy explains that Curtis is a distant cousin of Pim's.** (Daddy Dearest)**

**P. J. ****G****ennaro, DDS **- believes Curtis is a distant relative of the Diffys** (Daddy Dearest)**

**Mandy Teslow** - only met him as a tacky ornamental statue on her front lawn **(Double Trouble)**

**Neil Hackett**- runs into Curtis in school hallway, both scream, and then Curtis bites him on his leg and runs off** (Meet the Curtis)**

**Henrietta Mantis** - hired Curtis to work at her store, Mantis Hardware** (Happy Nirday)**

**Keith** - Diffys' water delivery guy has been pulled to the garage by Curtis **(Phillin' In)**

**Ms. Genevieve Winston** - Pim first passes Curtis off as her father, then Lloyd and Barbara reintroduce him as "Uncle Curtis."**(Raging Bull)**

**_Various Pickfordit__e_****_s:_**

saw Curtis working with Phil and Keely as they worked picking up ... you know. **(Doggie Daycare)**

saw Curtis searching for and trying out different jobs with Lloyd's assistanc**e (Happy Nirday)**

a delivery man met Curtis as himself and as Phil in Curtis's body **(Neander-Phil)**

many outstanding Pickford socialites at the Mayor's Ball met Curtis while Curtis was transferred into Phil's body. **(Neander-Phil)**

artist drawing of Curtis's face was broadcasted on T.V., calling him the "man beast" who attacked Mr. Hackett **(Meet the Curtis)**

.

**English Language Skills**:

His first words in English were "Bye Phil" **(Meet the Curtis)**

Sometimes taught to repeat phrases by Phil and Pim, when they have used him to suit their own needs:  
As "Dad" and "Uncle Curtis" at Pim's parent-teacher conference** (Raging Bull)**  
As field trip chaperone**(Mummy's Boy)**

_"Johnny, take finger out of nose."_ **(Mummy's Boy)**

_"This first and last warning." _**(Mummy's Boy)**

"Because I'm the grown-up, that's why." **(Mummy's Boy)**

"You got it, Dude." **(Raging Bull)**

"Clamp it, Jackson." **(Raging Bull)**

"She did what now?" **(Raging Bull)**

.

Repeated from television:

"Who's your daddy?" **(Raging Bull)**

.

Prehistoric Native Vocabulary:

ay-yi-yi! **(Raging Bull)**

bunaka = back off, buddy! **(Neander-Phil)**

butchietaka = Let's play **(Double Trouble)**

dah-ha = Yes **(Meet the Curtis)**

egata = surprise attack** (Double Trouble)**

enchca tadga = over there** (Meet the Curtis)**

gitana = whoops** (Tanner)**

hahzaza = for you **(Meet the Curtis)**

hoophah = nifty** (Meet the Curtis)**

huzzah = mine **(Good Phil Hunting)**

mo-goo = pain **(Daddy Dearest)**

ooh-nuchuh = follow me **(Meet the Curtis)**

Seynah = yours **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Shata-ha = let's catch it and eat it **(Meet the Curtis)**

teeyah makkah? = safe to come out? **(Phillin' In)**

tooku = friend **(Double Trouble)**

tsee nah = for you

tsee-tonga = universal response: when leaving garage, Curtis says it to Phil **(Phil of the Garage)** and Curtis uses it to describe PVC pipe **(Versa-Day)**

unga ka = mine **(Neander-Phil)**

unga tonga = just wait, I'll be back and take care of you **(Neander-Phil)**

unh-chaka-ta-ta = hey, something wrong **(Meet the Curtis)**

unn-chaga = gotten food **(Meet the Curtis)**

.

The next day, the wild man story was broken, sort of. Yanoosh did get his exclusive, even if his "chief" didn't officially sanction it. Complete with images, a descriptive running description of the wildman scavenging was circulated around the newsroom's computers, and, eventually, on the internet. The wild man of the news crew, Yanoosh Ing, in his natural habitat. "Here, the wily reporter, the hunter-gatherer, using all his professional cunning to track down story leads ..."

Somehow, or maybe even because of that indignation, Yanoosh didn't drop his investigation.

.

**.:i:.:i:.:i:.:i:.:i:.:i:.:i:.**

11/18/08


	4. The Teslows

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

.

"Is all this really absolutely necessary?"

"Mrs. Teslow, may I call you 'Mandy'? This is just our standard background questionaire form for home loan applicants."

"But you - some of these questions seem very personal. Do I have to fill them all out?"

"Only if you want your application for a loan considered; otherwise, every blank on that form is entirely optional. Feel better?" the loan officer somehow managed to spit out that insult without a toothy grin. He was getting smoother with each new customer. "Times are tough, you know? We have to be very careful about who we lend money out to. Plenty of people need it these days, desperate and would do anything for it. What did you want it for, again?"

The pen felt increasingly cold and hard in Keely's mother's grip. She didn't want to do this this way. By her nature, Mandy Teslow was a saver and had planned to pay for this all on her own, but times were indeed tough. The housing market in California had been in a depression for years now, and, on top of increased fees for her space in the realtor's office, she had been strapped enough to have to keep dipping into her savings each month just to make ends meet. Keely was getting older now, wanting more things, and, good mother that she was, Mrs. T wanted to provide them for her, if only she could.

She convinced the pen to make its jotting sounds ...

.

**The Teslow Family**

**Keely Teslow**:

_Relatives_:  
Mother - Mandy Teslow **(see below)**  
aunt **(Corner Pocket)**  
Grandmother Hayes **(Corner Pocket)**  
Her Uncle Bruce wasn't a cheerleader, but he's real bubbly. **(Corner Pocket)****  
**Has an uncle who's a circus clown and the Teslow house is tented when he visits so he feels at home. **(Maybe-sitting)****  
**Keely's family has Cossack genes which sometimes result in sweaty hands. **(Back To the Future (Not the Movie))**

_Contact information_: Cell phone number is 555-0139 **(Phil Without a Future)**

_Employment history, list most recent first_:  
- anchor desk reporter for the H.G. Wells Morning Report and Live With Keely Teslow I'm Keely Teslow **(Back to the Future (Not the Movie))**, **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**, **(Pim-Cipal), (Ill of the Future), (Mummy's Boy)**, **(The Giggle)**;**  
**- host of Keely's Korner **(Broadcast Blues)**;**  
**- baby-sitting **(Maybe-Sitting)** and** (The Giggle)**;**  
**- hors d'oeuvre waitress for Mrs. Fishbrine's catering service **(Neander Phil)**;  
- Co-Founder of P & K Daycare **(Doggie Daycare)**

_Future career plans_:  
Despite her continuing to dress herself in her pop-star pants, Keely denounced the notion of pursuing a frivolous guitar-playing career - Phil: _"Keely I thought you said you wanted to be a pop-star. I mean that's why you spent all your baby-sitting money on pop-star pants."_ Keely: _"Please. I don't want a shallow career. I'm going to be reporting hard-hitting stories!"_ Although Keely has played with the idea of becoming a pet psychologist, She intends on applying to journalism school. She has a passion about is investigative reporting; Keely's even had a glimpse of this in her future courtesy of the Giggle. **(The Giggle)**

_Awards_:  
Third place in Star of the Future Competition **(My Way)****  
**2003 Pickford Yuletide Star Princess **(Christmas Break)**

_Personality_:  
- effervescent, genuine, candid, empathetic, friendly, spontaneous, pliant, supportive  
- Perspective on life: asked whether a glass is half full or half empty, Keely would say that it is almost full, not half.  
- Keely's response to disappointment is to make the deliverer feel comfortable. (**We'll Fix It In Editing**) and **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**  
- Keely lives in constant dread of Phil's father fixing the time machine and Phil leaving her forever: wishing silently, Keely mouths the words "Oh, don't leave" when Pim greets her with an air horn at the door. **(Christmas Break)****  
**- Has stage fright when she sings, unless she only focuses on Phil. **(My Way)****  
**Declared a "100-percent honest pact" with Phil, which prompted him to tell her he was from the future. **(You Say Toe-mato)****  
**- an animal lover: playing with neighborhood dogs - including Maximilian - **(Doggie Daycare),** pet hamster **(Versa Day),** cockroaches **(Future Halloween)**

_Innermost secret_:  
Sometimes dreams that she's married to Mr. Potato Head and living in a two-bedroom condo in Boca Raton, Florida, where she wants to be a doctor, but he wants her to stay home and take care of their five little spuds. **(You Say Toe-mato)**; _plus there's that family from the future thing._

_Statistics_:  
Blonde (some would say "very blonde") with ever changing hairdos and accessories (flowers, scarfs, hats, clips)  
About five foot tall, a little flaky **(Age Before Beauty)****  
**Wears size 8 (sparkle pumps) **(Christmas Break)**

_Birthdays_**:****  
**- Birthday is sometime in Late February, Early March **(Happy Nird Day)****  
**- Hit in face with cake once on fourteenth birthday, twice the day after her 15th, always with Phil about. **(Happy Nird Day)****  
**- Still hasn't had her Sweet Sixteen by dance time with Phil and Owen **(Get Ready To Go-Go)****  
**- Phil still hasn't taken her to the Alps for her birthday, not an ice tunnel, 's not forget that she hasn't gone hover hiking through the rain forest either.** (Happy Nird Day)**

Has known her best girlfriend Tia Chen since first grade** (Your Cheatin' Heart)**

In 3rd grade, played pumpkin in Thanksgiving pageant and threw up on Tara's shoes. **(My Way)**

At age 10, she claimed to her mother that her pet hamster was taken by the Hamster Liberation Front. (Pet hamster and all those cats in the house? Yeah, "taken.") **(Versa Day)**

Mid sophomore year, Phil introduces Keely to her new best girlfriend, Via (Olivia), for which Keely plants a kiss on Phil's cheek. **(Tia, Via, or Me ... Uh?)**

Keely's first crush was on Gaston on the Lost and the Lonely. **(Double Trouble)**

Went to Arizona once with her mom, who wouldn't let her touch the radio. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Seen older twice in series: 25 years old **(Age Before Beauty) **and 30 years old** (The Giggle)**

Keeps a journal **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

Types by hunt and peck system **(Tanner)**

Has a Kitty Cat handbag that meows. **(Time Release Capsule)**

Favorite snack is celery and cream cheese **(Phillin' In)**

Preferred shopper at the Pickford Town Mall **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Makes emergency lipstick out of ice pops and petroleum jelly **(Good Phil Hunting)**

His written reports on the novels The Tale of Two Cities **(Where's the Wizrd?) **and The Red Badge of Courage **(Happy Nird Day)**

Phil thinks of flowers, lavender, and that she makes him smile when he thinks of Keely. **(Happy Nirday)**

.

_Aliases_:

Kitten Velour - new code name for the proposed Fish Stick Fridays Rebellion. **(Pim-Cipal)**

Stu the Janitor - Keely's undercover name in her investigation of the stinky janitor's closet **(Broadcast Blues)**

Petunia Jones - proposed alias for going undercover as the drooling diva of the Drum and Bugle Corps **(Broadcast Blues)**

Mr. Littletree - a Guidance Counselor from Mount Kittymug Middle School discussing Phil's school records with Mr. Messerschimdt.** (Phil Without a Future)**

Miss Vanderhoosey - aged from 14 to 25 years-old by New Ager, substitutes for the beginning of Mr. Hackett's biology class, ends up going out with Hackett for her first date **(Age Before Beauty)**

White Panther - Resistance code name **(Pim-cipal)**

.

_Mother's nicknames for Keely:_

Butternut **(Corner Pocket)**

Jelly Bean **(Corner Pocket)**

Love Muffin **(Corner Pocket)**

Nugget **(Corner Pocket)**

Pumpkin Buns **(Daddy Dearest)**

Pumpkin Butt **(Daddy Dearest)**

Sweetie **(Corner Pocket)**

.

_Pim's nicknames for Keely:_

Little Miss Sunshine **(Future Jock)**

THE GIRL **(Christmas Break)**

Blondie **(Maybe Sitting)**

Princess **(Broadcast Blues)**

Peaches **(Broadcast Blues)**

Sugar Puff **(Broadcast Blues)**

Bunny **(Broadcast Blues)**

Kiddo **(Broadcast Blues)**

Sparkles **(Where's the Wizard?)**

Stretch **(Pim-cipal**)

.

_Tanner's petname for Keely:_

Glowworm **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

.

_Has Personally Handled Some Future Technology:_

Giggle: sees her possible futures as a news reporter, one with a wedding ring **(The Giggle)**

Insta-morph: Turns herself into Lloyd, then Phil **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

New Ager: ages herself to 25 **(Age Before Beauty)**, matures Nathan, and immatures and matures Phil **(Maybe-Sitting)**

Spray Food Cannisters: has sprayed herself a donut

Unnamed Device: to paint Diffys' garage door with animated visuals **(Virtu-Date)**

Virtu-goggles: goes to a virtual future mall **(Virtu-Date)**

Wizard: turns worms into gummy worms, and then back again as Candida eats them **(Versa Day)**

.

_Numbers on clothes:_

Number 7 on shirt - **(Corner Pocket)**

Number 4 on skirt - **(Doggie Daycare)**

Number 5 on jacket - **(Team Diffy)**

Number 3 on slacks - **(Raging Bull)**

.

.

**Mandy Teslow**: (alluded to behind closed door in **Phenomonally Yours)**,**(Corner Pocket)**, **(Double Trouble)**, **(mentioned in passing in Daddy Dearest)**

_Current employment_:  
Real estate agent with her own office at Pickford Homes, instead of simply a desk and cubicle **(Corner Pocket)**

New jingle on her work telephone. _"Duplex, condo, fixer-upper. Go with Teslow. Close by supper. -beep"_ **(Corner Pocket)**

_Professional lapel pins worn_:  
"I SELL HOMES" pin **(Corner Pocket) **and **(Double Trouble)****  
**jeweled old-fashioned key pin **(Corner Pocket)**

Drinks from "Our Homes SOLD" real estate coffee mug at work. **(Corner Pocket)**

She's Keely's mom. Sometimes called "Mrs. T" **(Corner Pocket)**

_Personality_:  
- Blunt with a smile and lilt in her voice, devoted to her daughter and career, understanding, hurried, offers her clients and neighbors a joyful greeting without coddling them. Not a chatter, she's busy, busy, busy.  
- Perspective on life: asked whether a glass is half full or half empty, Mandy would insist that it needs a little more fluid before it's midway, and then fill the glass to the top when nobody managed to add a few drops immediately.

_Statistics_:  
5' 3" tall  
Auburn hair

First seen in Diffys' front room and her front yard** (Double Trouble)**; in gymnasium hallway, her real estate office and at billiard match **(Corner Pocket)**

To call her a cat-person is an understatement. In her home she holds a cat circus with her friends and their fellow felines. **(Phenomonally Yours)** Cheetah bathrobe, pink and white shower cap with hand drawn cat picture on pink heart attached to front of cap, in bathtub at 10:30 at night. **(Double Trouble)**

Collects life-size ceramic lawn ornaments (garden gnomes, deer, flamingo) -**(Double Trouble)**

Maiden name is Hayes. **(Corner Pocket)**

Wanted Keely to become a cheerleader - family tradition: Keely's mother, aunt, and Grandmother Hayes were all cheerleaders, and it's what's going to keep Mandy going after she retires from real estate and Keely grows up and moves away. **(Corner Pocket)**

In gratitude, she called Lloyd "sweet corn muffin" for the return of her ceramic lawn ornaments. **(Double Trouble)**

.

.

As she displayed her family on paper for the bank employee to gawk at, Mandy tried to imagine the loan being approved, her information being tucked away in some dusty filing cabinet to be forgotten, but all the while, she knew better. Scanned, they'd become computer records that detailed their lives, lives that could be stolen away in an hour, a day, a ... time when these records will be copied and sold to anyone with real money enough to buy their identities. It'll take years, decades, to clean everything up, if it will even be possible to do so, but ... but Keely will be needing a car. There was no way Mandy Teslow was going to let her only child ride on anything as dangerous as a moped. If Keely's mother only knew ...

.

November 19, 2008

_.:|:._


	5. Students Grades 7 to 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

.

"You just can't blame everything that goes wrong on the Diffy kids each time, Neil."

"But, but, Principal Tillywack, I know without a doubt that it was Pim Diffy who who crazy glued my hairpiece to the top of the school's flagpole for all to see."

"Absolutely?"

"Absolutely!" Neil verified. "Without any doubts ... and if it wasn't, it was her brother."

"So, you don't really know?"

"It was the Diffys, I tell you! They're al-al-allegedly nice, but they're-"

"And you have no evidence, not even a witness. Neil, Neil, Neil. What am I going to do with you? While I'm gone, you're in charge. This should be your big opportunity to shine, but instead -"

"But It Was The Diffys!" whined Neil. "The girl, she reads minds!" Neil's eyes were as wide opened as eggs sunny-side-up.

"Neil."

"And their father, oh, I could tell you stories about what I've seen him do on the other side of my fence."

"Neil, maybe it's time you took my next information gathering junket. You seriously need to get away from all this for a while, and when you come back, or if you find someplace else you'd like to live ..."

"But, but, but ... maybe you're right."

"That's the spirit. Now, I think you'll like Singapore. It has some of the most beautiful -"

"What? No. No, no, no. Not that. Don't be silly. I just meant that we shouldn't ignore Miss Diffy's talent of using people. If it takes all night, don't worry, Principal Tillywack, we'll find her accomplices. Let's start going through my secret permanent student records; we can start with the younger Diffy's peers."

Without a doubt, Principal Tillywack regretted returning to Pickford.

.

**Grades 7th to 8th Students**

**H.G. Wells 7th-8th Grade Students**:

Alphabetized by first, nickname, or only name:

**Bradley Benjamin Farmer**: **(Age Before Beauty)**, **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**, **(Phenomonally Yours)**, **(My Way)**

Bradley comes across as sophisticated in his tastes (manners and clothing, but not intellect).

The member of many school clubs.

Pim has a rival in Bradley.

He often has wound up helping Pim out of fear.

Pim calls him names that tease him about his shortness.

Conducts school orchestra **(Phenomonally Yours)**

Bradley has also started hitting on Pim since he and Debbie broke up. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Wears size 3 shoes with lifts. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Plays piccolo. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Once was a reviewer on the school network with Pim until they were both busted by Neckbrace Lana. **(Age Before Beauty)**

.

**Candida* Cople **- **(Maybe Sitting)**; then **Candida Keagle** (_Mother remarried?_) -**(Versa Day)**; **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Second season antagonist to Pim

Candida represent a younger version of Keely before meeting Phil. Candida is interested in being the most popular girl at school through her appearance. She has her own entourage. Her long range career plan amounts modeling. She's everything Keely was headed toward becoming, which is probably why Candida rubs Pim the wrong way, just like a certain other 21st Century blonde. Despite Pim Diffy's 22nd Century superiority, Candida continually keeps Pim in her place, below her and off to one side, out of reach.

Leader of Fashion Zombies, a label Pim came up with for Candida and her sycophants.

Uses whiplash, whipgloss - winkypink **(Versa Day)**

She is attracted to "Jake," Pim's repliboy. **(Get Ready to Go-Go)**

Gets Pim with a shaving-cream-filled balloon labeled "Pimple," but rues the day that she did so when Pim fries Candida's coiffure with her fur boots' full charge of static electricity. **(Good Phil Hunting)**

*(PIM INSISTS THAT EVERYONE KNOW THAT "CANDIDA" IS ACTUALLY A FUNGAL DISEASE! GO AHEAD AND GOOGLE IT!)

.

**Cheryl**: Pim tries to sell her a watch from beneath the bathroom stall. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

**.**

**Li'l Danny Dawkins**:

Introduced in Season Two,

Has a serious crush on Pim Diffy and Pim likes to hang around with Danny.

Code name in "Pim-cipal" is "Little Scorpion." **(Pim-cipal)**

Danny wrote Pim's report on "Norway, Fairyland of Fjords" **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Tries to take Pim to Ladies Choice Dance, but disc jockey's the music instead **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Has a half-ream thick business agreement contract with Pim. **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Gets a one-minute gum chewing break. **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Was once Wizrded to speak only Spanish **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Pim calls him "Dawkins" and "Little D." **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Pim called him "Li'l Danny Dumplings" when she had Greenemia. **(Ill of the Future)**

**.**

**Deborah "Debbie" Hortence Berwick**: 13 episodes: **(Meet the Curtis)**, **(You Say Toe-Mato)**, **(Unification Day)**,**(Tanner)**, **(Phenomonally Yours)**, **(Future Tutor)**, **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**, **(Doggie Day-Care)**, **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**, **(Future Halloween)**, **(Neander-Phil)**, **(Corner Pocket)**, **(Team Diffy)**

An overly happy, peppy, girl who only hates raisins, chichuachuas, and naughty nibblers.

First 21st Century student that Pim talks to. **(Future Tutor)**

Astronomical sign is Capricorn. **(Corner Pocket)**

Birthday is in summer. **(Tanner)**

A soloist singing "Give My Regards to Broadway" while accompanied by the school orchestra. **(Phenomonally Yours)**

Debbie sees the rosy side of everything.

In the Halloween episode, it is revealed that she is a dangerous Sugar & Spice Model robot sent back to the Twenty-first Century to protect the 22nd Century from her evilness. Forcing students to become members of her cupcake army, Debbie's Angels, she is defeated in the end, which is reason for her absence in season two. Aw, "Moose Knuckles!" She is defeated in the end, which is reason for her absence in season two. Aw, "Moose Knuckles!" Oh, yes, and she has a recharging port in the back of her neck which accepts an energy recharging crystal. **(Future Halloween)**

Gets up early twice a week to take homemade cupcakes to the retirement home because cupcakes make people happy**(Future Tutor)**

Works with Pim in research and scheme to take down fast walker Frank Rizzo. **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

Raises money by selling "Fun Baskets" for five dollars each. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

She loves the news so much she hopes to one day become an Action News anchor.

Treasures the apology bucket handle that Pim gave to her in the park. **(Neander-Phil)**

Loves to fund raise. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Calls her grandmother who she lives with Nana **(Meet the Curtis)**; mentioned in **(Doggie Daycare)**

Wears pearls. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Puts smiley faces on all the school nurse's tongue depressors. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Can tap dance. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Debbie calls Pim "Pimsy" **(Doggie Daycare)**, and "Pimula" **(Neander-Phil)**

Made copy of key of Diffys' front door in shoe repair shop in Little Tokyo **(Doggie Daycare)**

Makes squeaky balloon animals **(Neander-Phil)**

Wrote a play of her own, "Magic Ballet Shoes," that takes place on an island with Hobson, Jose, and the unicorn. **(Meet the Curtis)**

Bedtime at her house is 6pm, but if you stay overnight you can still talk until 6:30** (Meet the Curtis)**

Her sleep-overs culminate with an election of the "Sleep-over Queen."** (Meet the Curtis)**

There is a territorial doberman with access to her yard. **(Meet the Curtis)**

Teaches yoga as Master D, the most respected yoga teacher in all of Southeastern Pickford **(Neander-Phil)**

Has a "Best Friend" contract with Pim that Pimmy regrets being legally bound to due to its 117 conditions **(Neander-Phil)**

Is an intern as Operator 212 on a help line for cooking support. **(Unification Day)**

.

**Desi **- give Bradley shoes with lifts as a bribe for giving his one man show, "They Call Me Hall Monitor," a good review.**(Age Before Beauty)**

**.**

**The Fashion Zombies**: - **(Versa Day)**, **(Maybe Sitting)**, **(Good Phil Hunting)**

A group of rich, popular and ever rotating membership girls.

Always led by Candida whose sole purpose is to make Pim's life miserable.

The Fashion Zombies were introduced in Season Two.

The Fashion Zombies replace Debbie as Pim's female antagonist.

The Fashion Zombies admire and respect Keely. **(Versa Day)**

Fiona Lamky was once a member. **(Versa Day)**

**.**

**Fiona Lamky** - Candida's pal in Science in **(Versa Day)**

A one-time Fashion Zombie

Happily enforced the FZ's pecking order when she shoved her fellow zombie from the lunch table to the floor - then knocked off her fellow FZ's purse from the table for thoroughness.

.

**"****G****assy" Gus - mentioned only in passing (Ill of the Future)**

**.**

**Glen - **Debbie offers him a cupcake in the hallway when she's running for Chalk Monitor **(Future Tutor)**

**.**

**Helka (the Hulka) Lictenschlitz** - **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Weightlifter

Works out by lifting forty-inch plasma screen televisions at her Uncle Vacheck's Discount Video Showroom.

Sits on the Student Discipline Board. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

.

**Jerry** (bully, sister of Myron the bully) - **(Double Trouble)**

Orange hair in braided pig tails, turned around baseball cap,

Heavy, half-head taller than Pim,

Bullied Pim for lunches - likes the crusts cut off.

.

**Jorge **- Pim tries to sell him a belt buckle and a locket in the hallway **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

.

**Judy, 'Silent'** - Please see 'Silent' Judy below.

.

**'Neckbrace' ****L****ana Newman** - 4 episodes: **(Meet the Curtis)**, **(Age Before Beauty**), **(Milking It)**, **(Halloween)**

**a reporter on the junior version of H. G. Wells news broadcasts**

designated as "Number 41" when inducted into Debbie's Angels for Halloween to make cupcakes for the needy** (Future Halloween)**

Busts Pim and Bradley trying to strong-arm Chef Dupre for bribes **(Age Before Beauty)**

.

**Myron Fibble **- unseen **(Milkin' It)**

Sits by Pim in writing class.

Smells like bologna.

.

**'Silent Judy'** - **(Meet the Curtis)**

rarely speaks, and then only in sentence fragments, but her facial reactions demonstrate complete comprehension as to what Pim is asking (sort of as Curtis's will)

.

**Simon Buber**- **(Happy Nirday)**

Pim's superior in the prank department, always one step ahead.

He likes her and she likes him.

Even Mr. Messerschmitt likes him.

Knows how to use a CX-30 Acetylene Torch.

.

**Snooger **- **(Versa Day)**

former captain of the junior science squad, replaced by Pim due to the time that Phil was morphed into Pim

has a crush on Pim due to "her" (Phil's) science knowledge

.

**Veribnis Clovavak** - mentioned only in passing **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Is the Serbian Exchange Student who can say "Yes" and now: "Not in face!"

.

**Non-H.G. Wells 7th-8th Grade Students:**

**Frank Rizzo **- First Season **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

Fast-walks against Pim,

Fears girl "cooties"

Rides around on electric scooter when not fast-walking

Wore number 10 typed to red sleeveless shirt and black shorts in race with Pim (she was wearing the number 7 in a satin blue skirt and light blue hoodie and headband)

.

**Jake **- Second season **(Get Ready to Go-Go)**

Pim's repliboy, Pim's replicate date for the dance from a catalog

"From" the rich east side of Handsome Town

.

.

"Satisfied?"

Silent at first, Vice-principal Hackett, started to make a tiny crying sounds.

"There, there, Neil. Everyone ..." his colleague's voice trailed off upon the notion that the man seated before him, surrounded by secret files wasn't actually sobbing. No, Neil Hackett was laughing, having a hard time catching his breath, choking on his own chortling ... was he mad?

Tillywack started to back away, and this seemed to trigger Hackett to suddenly rise, shouting, "DIFFYS, The Diffys! Can't you see what they're doing? They're (cough, cough) they're (COUGH, HACK) ... Hackett passed out, taking the fast way down to the floor. The last man standing thought of what to do next: take him home with him, dial 9-1-1, check his emergency card for his physician? In the end, and true to his administrative style, Principal Tillywack simply stepped around the drooling mass on the carpet, turned out the light, and went home. Friday. Good thing Neil Hackett has the weekend to pull himself together. Yes, Tillywack would be taking that trip to Singapore himself. Junior-Senior High School was no place for a man to stay sane.

.

November 20, 2008

_.: |:. _


	6. Students Grades 9 to 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

.

"It's too bad your dad confiscated all your future batteries, again, Phil. At least this time, it's not in an attempt to go back to the future."

"If only Pim hadn't - she's just so cheap. Anyway, we should be able to get at least some of our classmates to help build the float for Founder's Day. We just have to keep Pim away from it - and my dad."

"Curtis, too."

"Uh-huh, Curtis, too."

"Phil, remember to ask for materials that they'll donated. There's no money in the Student Body Fund to buy stuff to build it the float from this year. Nada."

"Thanks. You know that's only going to make things harder. At least we can recycle a few parts from last year's float."

"Now, we'll need people, too, handy with, um, their hands. You know what I mean, Phil."

"Carpentry, welding, an engine team, painters, and then, I suppose, you'll want it to be animated?"

"Phil, how can a float be not animated? It would be unfinished, like my shoes without these sparklies I added. See?"

"I see, I see. See Phil. See Phil slave. See? See sweat? See Phil sweat. Sweat, Phil, sweat!"

"Ha-ha-ha. You are just lazy, Mister. Too much 22nd Century Wizrdry, that's what your trouble is."

"Something tells me I'm going to be cured before we're done with the rolling tomato float. Gotta admit, I've never seen anything quite like it."

"Glad you like my design ... you did mean that you liked it, didn't you, Phil?"

"I said I hadn't ever seen it's like before didn't I?"

"Good. Wait. What?"

"Keely, Keely, Keely ... we have a lot of people to call up and beg for their help. We'd best get started."

.

**Students Grades 9 to ****12**

**H. G. Wells 9th - 12th grade Students:**

**Closest Friends: Season One**

**Tia Chen**: 7 episodes: **(Future Tutor)**, **(Corner Pocket)**, **(Pheromonally Yours)**,**(Doggie Daycare)**, **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**, **(Milkin' It)**, **(Unification Day)**

Keely's best girlfriend, age 13 in first episode.

Stylish.

Helped Keely fake being a Spirit Squad cheerleader **(Corner Pocket)**

Has a piercing where it's not plainly visible. **(Corner Pocket)**

Rides a two-wheeled Segway Scooter. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Has know Keely since first grade. **(Doggie Daycare)**

Keely talking to her on cell phone mentions that Tia moved from Pickford.** (Tia, Via, or Me... Uhh)**

**.**

**Seth Wosmer**: 5 episodes: **(Future Tutor)**, **(Corner Pocket)**, **(Pheromonally Yours)**,**(We'll Fix It In Editing)**, **(Unification Day)**

Seth is something of a nerd.

Has a major crush on Tia.

Eats lunch with Phil, Keely and Tia to be around Tia.

Math loving friend of Phil, impressed by Phil's mathematical prowess. **(Future Tutor)**

It is revealed in one episode he is a member of the school billiard team. **(Corner Pocket)**

Enjoys watching t.v. and eating dinner in his room. **(Corner Pocket)**

Seth is not seen in Season two.

.

**Closest Friends: Season Two**

**Via**: **(Tia, Via or Me-Uh)** and **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

A new student who is Keely's new girlfriend.

Has an English accent.

Introduced in Season Two.

Via replaces Tia as Keely's new gal pal. **(Tia, Via or Me-Uh)**

Her father is in the English Royal Navy, somehow reassigned to Pickford. **(Tia, Via or Me-Uh)**

Lives at number 341, a pink house which her father must hate since he's allergic to anything feminine. **(Tia, Via or**** Me-Uh)**

Goes with Phil to Lady's Choice Dance. **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

**.  
**

**O****wen Norad**: 5 episodes: **(Mummy's Boy)**, **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**, **(Time Release Capsule)**, **(Tia, Via, or Me... Uhh)**, **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

A smooth talker who is Phil Diffy's friend and sometimes rival for Keely.

He is exceptionally self-confident even arrogant.

Owen was introduced in Season Two.

Known for his appetite, both food and chasing after girls.

Nicknamed "O-Dog." (Get Ready To Go-Go)

He is really sorry about his ordering a magazine under Phil's name. **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

* * *

_Alphabetized by first or only name:_

**A****lex **-** (Good Phil Hunting)**

In Advanced Progressive Mathematics Class

Extremely shy, with a hat pulled over her head until Keely gets her to wear girl clothes and contacts.

Mr. Hackett is surprised to find that she is a girl.

.

**A****lice Da Luca **-** (Neander Phil)**

Karate Class, rides horse, speaks French, Mayor's daughter

Takes Phil to the Mayor's Ball.

Dumps Phil when she realizes that he only asked her out because of the way she looked.

Brunette

.

**A****rcher Slickman** - funniest yearbook award grade 10. Unseen: mentioned only in passing**(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

**.  
**

**A****rnie Hockhousen** - last week he threw up and now Troy Jackoway walks across the floor on his hands in the same spot. **(Future Jock)**

**.  
**

**B****runo Longfellow** - **(Ill of the Future)** and** (Phil of the Garage)**

Football starting quarterback;

Asks Keely to traditional pregame team dinner, tries to sweeten the deal with extra cole slaw; with Phil's urging under the effects of Greenemia, she does go, but leaves with Phil after mascot battle. **(Ill of the Future)**

Won Finger Bowl the week before Phil moved into the garage. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Won Teriyaki Bowl **(Phil of the Garage)**

Brings his crew and his famous cole slaw (already eaten) to Phil's garage warming **(Phil of the Garage)**

tries to sneak a couple of feels of Keely in the dark, but only gets Phil **(Phil of the Garage)**

.

**C****hip Crawston **- **(Unification Day)**

(11th grader when Phil's in 9th grade)

Invites Seth to his party with his 40,000 watt sound system

Wears a letterman's jacket.

.

Conner Kilbecky - Tia's boyfriend in the first grade mentioned in passing **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

.

Crying Girl - please see **U****nnamed Crying Girl** **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

**.  
**

**D****enise** - at Phil's garage warming he tells her that she's looking good. **(Phil of the Garage)**

**.  
**

**D****ennis **- Although Dennis is never seen or heard, everyone likes Dennis as he is given orders and thanks sporadically throughout the series as he handles technical equipment in any situation from the talent show to video broadcasts. **(My Way)**

**.  
**

**D****onnie Ronconcomo** - **(Versa-Day)** and **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

(Not to be confused with Ronnie Ronconcomo below)

Curly afro red hair,

Roving H. G. Wells news reporter **(Versa****-Day**)

Mentioned as the former holder of record from most lemonade consumed at one sitting - record broken by Kyle Speckle **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

**.  
**

**D****onny** - has Keely's copy for tube socks broadcast **(Broadcast Blues)**

**.  
**

**E****mily Taritan** - former floor surfing champion with a record of 22 lockers - Phil breaks her record at the cost of after school detention. **(Raging Bull)**

**.  
**

**F****rankie** - Brings his bull to the dance. Wrong bull, Frankie! **(Raging Bull)**

**.  
**

**G****race** - **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Attracted to Phil, then Grady Spaggett.

Keely gives her a make over.

Allergic to crabs.

Blonde hair.

.

**G****rady Spaggett **-** (Good Phil Hunting)** & **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

In Advanced Progressive Mathematics Class** (Good Phil Hunting)**

President of Theoretical Physics and Close-up Magic Clubs** (Good Phil Hunting)**and**(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Self-proclaimed nickname: "That's 'Grade-A,' like beef, eggs, and a fine restaurant."**(Good Phil Hunting)**

Tan vest has his electronics affixed to the outside surfaces. **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Cooks his own grilled cheese sandwiches at school from his photovoltaic panel on the back of his vest and a snack griddle in 45 to 50 minutes **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Regreases the telescope at the Pickford Planetarium **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

In love with Grace. **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Allergic to puffs (in crabpuffs) **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

According to his closet, Grady doesn't spend a lot of time in the morning deciding what to wear. **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

**.  
**

**H****arvey** - curly-headed victim beaten up by Myron the bully **(Double Trouble)**

**.  
**

**H****ector (I) **is in science fair, and principal thinks he needs a haircut **(Milkin' It)**

**.  
**

**H****ector (II)** plays sound effects for Keely's Korner **(Broadcast Blues)**

**.  
**

**Overhead ****J****ean Claude** - **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Medium length orange hair with curls

Phil pays him a hefty seven twenty-dollar bills to take over Jean Claude's Audiovisual Club duty during Keely's first day of advance math.

.

**J****erry Palmer** - golf enthusiast **(Double Trouble)**

**.  
**

**J****erry Saint** - in school hallway passing out flowers in orange Hindi monk's robe, shaved head **(Double Trouble)**

**.  
**

**J****erry Thrash** -sports the punk look **(Double Trouble)**

**.  
**

**J****ohnson** - Student who is hit with tomato and has Phil's ketchup-covered hot-dog tossed down the back of his shirt. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

.

**P****rotractor ****K****elly** - **(Good Phil Hunting)**

In Advanced Progressive Mathematics Class

Keely gets him into a pair of relaxed fit jeans when she takes the class to the mall.

.

**K****yle Speckle** - **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Barbara's great grandfather.

Plays lame pranks with no wow factor or exit strategy.

Sent to military school when expelled from H. G. Wells for pulling pranks, the last one he was set up for by Phil, Keely and Pim.

Meets his wife-to-be Petunia at military school.

.

**L****emuel** - will straighten out Keely's note cards for Keely's corner starting on Monday**(Broadcast Blues)**

**.  
**

**M****argo** - listens as Keely raises her voice to needle Phil **(Raging Bull)**

.

**M****arla Beauregarde** - **(Phenomonally Yours)**

Had a crush on Phil.

Calls Phil "Philly-Willy"

Southern accent.

Uncle does amateur theater.

In Mr. Ginsberg's poetry class with Phil.

Pours Mr. Ginsberg's coco-nana smoothie down Phil's shirt.

.

**M****ikey Watson **- Dated Tia (_who hasn't?_) until she kicked him to the curb.**(Phenomonally Yours)**

**.  
**

**"the ****m****oose"** - designation by Phil of H. G. Wells Bowling Team member who breaks the Pickford Yuletide Star in two alternate timelines. **(Christmas Break)**

**.  
**

**M****orton** - worn down by her pitch, he buys a Fun Basket from Debbie Berwick for $5**(You Say Toe-Mato)**

**.  
**

**M****yron **_**"The Bully"**_- **(Double Trouble)** and **(Raging Bull)**

Average height, slightly curly, brown-haired bully.

Usually talks with some attitude, projecting himself as a tough guy.

Lover of egg salad sandwiches, especially those not originally his own. Ordered Phil to bring him an egg salad sandwich **(Double Trouble)**

Protective brother of sister Jerry in Pim's grade. _(Please see "CH05: Students Grades 7 to 8: Jerry")_ **(Double Trouble)** -

Likes to keep his fights in an organizer. **(Double Trouble)**

Always nice to his pet rabbit Cookie, even living in the hutch with him for a while. **(Double Trouble)**

Challenged Phil to a fight at 3:00 PM in the downstairs boys' bathroom. **(Double Trouble)**

Names new rabbit that Phil gives him "Cookie Junior." **(Double Trouble)**

His therapist says that he's acting out by being a bully. **(Double Trouble)**

Brother Joey was once lifted into the air, then found himself wearing swimfins in a corn field. **(Raging Bull)**

No longer a bully, Myron is impressed by Phil's floor surfing performance. Myron now hangs out with a new crew -(possibly seen as an alpha male and maybe even a leader due to his previous position in the school hierarchy), and is willing to pull stunts with his new pals and is no stranger to detention. -(As such, Myron and his pals may come under Pim's influence when they are attracted to mischief, a lack of fear for authority and the kind of questionable judgment that sets a bull loose on an auditorium filled with their classmates.)**(Raging Bull)**

Myron has witnessed the transformation of a bull into a kitten with only Phil in the hallway with him, has been zapped, only to awaken in Phil's room with P&K. Tricked, he has sworn himself to secrecy about the occurrence, along with Keely and Phil. **(Raging Bull)**

**.  
**

Protractor Kelly- Please see: **Protractor ****K****elly** above **(Good Phil Hunting)**

**.  
**

**R****icky Singh** - **(Phil Without a Future)**

Future inventor of the Wizrd.

Sketches out his "Future Probe: a new multi-purpose electronic assistant," later to rename as the "Wizrd."

Is motivated and leads others in support of Phil's coup d'état of Mr. Messerschimdt's CPT (Career Placement Test) exam.

.

**R****oger Nutchie (Nuchi)** - **(Milkin' It)**

"Three-peater" in winning the Invention Expo.

Portable Changing Room

Tia is the demonstrator for his invention.

Suspicious of Phil

.

**R****onnie Ronconcomo** - **(Where's the Wizrd?)**,** (Broadcast Blues) **and **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

(Not to be confused with Donnie Ronconcomo above)

Phil squeezes his burrito and he calls Phil "Creep." **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Phil tries to pay him a dollar to watch Keely's investigative report on dirty mop water.**(Broadcast Blues)**

Best Dressed yearbook award grade 10, wears tux** (Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

**.  
**

**S****ally** - sole female member of H. G. Wells Astronauts' football team. **(Ill of the Future)**

**.  
**

**S****arah Rogers** - Kelly encourages her to follow her into the dance. **(Raging Bull)**

**.  
**

**S****cooter **- At Phil's garage warming **(Phil of the Garage)**

.

**S****kully** - Lost student from some field trip gone horribly, horribly wrong. Pim finds Skully, now just bones sporting a cap and backpack. **(Phillin' In)**

.

**S****tacy Pimpkins** - rapidly aging eleventh grade cheerleader is first to take the Omicron Gambit **(The Giggle)**

.

**Sterling **- gymnastic's fan for both Troy and Phil's stories of athletic prowness **(Future Jock)**

**.  
**

**T****anner Kirkpatrick** - **(Your Cheatin' Heart)** and **(Tanner)**

Gets lost when he tries to use figures of speech.

Writes notes in ink on his arms.

Has a reputation for being a good actor.** (Your Cheatin' Heart)**

Almost Keely's first boyfriend **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

Tall, blue eyes that Keely likes (she nicknames him "Blue"), curly blonde hair **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

Shaves his underarm hair **(Tanner)**

Has 2nd grade brother at nearby school: blue-helmeted "Crash" Kirkpatrick, who spent time with Phil when Phil visited his class to improve his 22nd Century handwriting**(Tanner)**

Pretends that he has nothing to feel embarrassed about **(Tanner)**

A sensitive easy crier, he cried when the lamb at the petting zoo licked him last week.**(Tanner)**

**.  
**

**T****ara Schrader** - **(My Way)**

Her father is weatherman on Channel 36,

Was the Thanksgiving princess in the Thanksgiving pageant in third grade with Keely who threw up on Tara's shoes.

Wins first place in Star of the Future competition.

Prefers her name to be pronounced "_Taw-raw_."

.

**T****ravis** - **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

spectacular writer with atrocious hand writing

assigned five-thousand word essay by Mr. Hackett.

.

**T****roy Jackoway** - **(Future Jock)**

Gymnastics star

Very positive and gregarious

uses pricey hair gel

Set new school record by winning eight medals in a single competition

Passes out the medals he wins to his admirers

Eats lots of pasta and salad two hours before a gym meet

Gets Phil started wearing hair gel.

.

**U****nnamed Crying Girl* **- **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

"I'll never love again."

Keely played matchmaker and now the girl's true love can't even carry his own lunch tray.

*****(If it helps, the uncredited actress is Mae Whitman, who also plays the staring role of Katara in the animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender. Somewhat like Katara, Mae as the Unnamed Crying Girl also deals with flowing water.

* * *

**Non H. G. Wells 9th - 12th Grade Students****:**

**D****arcy** - **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

Tanner's other girlfriend.

Her parents agree to Tanner going skiing with her family.

Thinks that Phil makes a better Tanner in the kissing department.

Sometimes mistaken for an eight-year-old Bulgarian girl learning how to read.

.

**K****risty** - **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

Kyle Speckle's brunette girlfriend from military school that he takes to see the Diffys.

She's not overly keen over his lack of commitment toward her.

.

**P****etunia Smuck** - Unseen **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

Kyle Speckle's wife-to-be who he meets at military school.

Kyle calls Petunia a "hog," but he quickly abandons Kristy when Lloyd tells him that Petunia really likes him.

.

**R****ich Rinaldi** - Vaults for Westbrook **(Future Jock) **_also the name of one of the writers for the series_

* * *

**22nd Century Students****:**

**A****ndy ****B****axley** - **(Team Diffy)**

Phil's parents think that he's a nice kid. Basically, Andy is the "Eddie Haskell" of the Leave It To Beaver series.

The Baxley's _**(Please see "CH08: Other Adults: 22nd Century Adults)**_ son Phil's age, went to school with Phil.

Put Plutonium in the teacher desk drawer back in third grade, the teacher grew another head and blamed Phil.

Flies the Time Flyer 2000, a graduation gift. He says he was top of his class.

Was studying history with Abraham Lincoln before visiting Diffys.

Likes cranberries.

Prankster, untrustworthy, mean and nasty, lives for his own enjoyment without concern of being caught or the consequences inflicted upon others.

Pantsed both Abraham Lincoln and Mayor Johnny DaLuca.

Hair style consists of twisted patches of hair somewhat in grid format.

Phil calls him "Muttonhead."

Turns Phil into a statue, in retaliation for Phil spoiling Andy's plans to prank Pickford's new statue which was scupted in honor of Pickford's founder, Friar Fred.

Promised to return the Diffys to 2121, then skips out on them so Barbara and Lloyd can't tell his parents what he has done in Pickford to Phil.

.

.

"How many agreeded to come out and join us early Saturday morning, Keels?"

"Counting us?"

"Okay, sure."

"And our parents?"

"Keely."

"Maybe Curtis could help out, since your dad's going to be there anyway."

"Keely."

"Remember when we were going to make this giant beefsteak tomato?"

Phil continued staring.

"Another variety would be nice."

"Cherry?"

"Cherry ... or Red Currant."

"I don't think I've ever seen one of those."

His partner removed a bead from her hair and handed it to him. He stared at it. He stared at her. He stared back at it. She waited and waited for him to say something. Anything. Finally, he sighed ever so slightly and spoke up warmly, "You know, Keely, I think I could handle that even without a Wizrd. Good choice."

Keely smiled with relief.

.

:-) )-:

.

November 22, 2008


	7. H G Wells School Staff

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

.

In place of pretzels, cookies or chips, the bowl the hand dove into was filled with memory sticks. Was there going to be a yearbook this year? Yeah. In book form? Nope, there wasn't money in the budget for that ... well, there was, but it was a matter of priorities and Keely had almost surprised herself. Not a simple task for someone who dealt with the amazing and the bizarre daily, but this came very close. Admittedly, it hadn't been a popular topic for her to present in a series of commentaries in her morning reports. "Not popular?" The booing that came through the video lab's walls from all over the school startled her during her first few broadcasts before she came to expect it. Her hallway locker vandalized, gym locker emptied out while she was showering, Keely finding herself pushed outside in only a skimpy towel, oh, and the threats. For the first time since she had one, Keely kept her cell powered down for emergencies only. Lucky for her, she has an understanding mother who stood behind her daughter. (Not to mention a best friend/fairy godmother who could Wizrd a towel into slinky evening gown that couldn't help but be noticed. They didn't try that one again - it garnered Teslow too much attention from the boys.)

Keely was surprised that the staff at H. G. Wells was so resistive to her proposal, like the rest. It wasn't like she was asking much of them, but here were some of the same people who handed out long assignment to students all year long, but ask them to scribble down some facts about themselves and you'd have thought that you were assigning them a five thousand word essay on what margins were good for.

.

BAD LANGUAGE AT SCHOOL: Quiz, Test, Exam, Fail

.

**H. G. Wells School Staff**

**Herbert G. Wells Jr./Sr. High School Staff:**

**Administration:**

**Vice-Principal O'Donnell**: (played by Steve White) **(We'll Fix It In Editing) / Principal Smythe** **(Milkin' It)**: H.G. Wells's principal the first season

dreadlocks,

extremely chipper

wears black framed glasses to address students (nearsighted?) **(Milkin' It)**

.

**Principal Tillywack**: H.G. Wells's principal the 2nd season

mentioned in passing from time to time Referred to, but only seen in photo in **(Pim-cipal)**

often on fact finding missions with the school board in such desolate places as Hawaii **(Pim-cipal)**

.

**Mr. Neil Hackett**: H. G. Well's vice-principal and the Diffys' new neighbor.

In later episodes, Hackett became Pim's social studies teacher **(You Say Toe-Mato)**, Phil's biology teacher **(Age Before Beauty)**, a vice-principal, and a counselor at H. G. Wells.

Introduced as vice-principal in episode: **(Future Jock)**

_Personality:_  
- Honest. 43 episodes and Hackett won't be caught lying in any of them.  
- Honorable. When Neil loses a wager, he doesn't back out even when it means wearing a wedding dress. **(Future Jock)  
**- More failures than successes in the romantic relationship department. **(Future Tutor)**; Divorced, his wife ran off with his therapist.**(Age Before Beauty)** At one time he hoped for reconciliation**(Future Tutor)**, but he has moved past that and gone on to dating on his own. ******(Age Before Beauty)  
**- Insecure, his desk nameplate has his title first and in a larger font than his name **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**; he also prefers people use his title even in informal settings. **(Dinner Time) **Hackett's portrait is hanging on ceiling of every even numbered classroom.  
- Very suspicious of the Diffys - thinks they may be aliens. **(Where's the Wizard?)**

Second season, he moved next door to the Diffys, on the right of their home. **(Dinner Time)**

Follically challenged. "El Tigre" scalp wax that he uses smells like cabbage. **(Age Before Beauty)**;ordered a "Lorenzo Lamas" toupee hairpiece which was half installed. **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Wears vests and sweater vests. Wears paisley socks. **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Allergic to sheep and sheep byproducts **(Ill of the Future)**

Misses his mother's brisket and cherries flambe **(Dinner Time)**

Drinks coffee. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Code name in **(Pim-cipal) **is "**Lance Tankman**." He's very insistant upon it being Lance Tankman and nothing else. **(Pim-cipal)**

Carries a pocket-sized copy of the school bylaws. **(Pim-cipal)**

Once fired under article three of the school charter, courtesy of Pim. **(Pim-cipal)**

Is trying to sell his mini van. **(My Way)**

Leases a 1982 Bravada hatchback** (Pim-cipal)**

Born in Woodstock, New York, 1969 in a drum circle **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Was in the army and still gets together sometimes with army buddies. **(Not-So-Great Great, Great, Grandpa)**

Loves all forms of dance. **(Age Before Beauty) **Used to tour as a professional ballroom dancer**. ****(Age Before Beauty) **Toured with The Curtsies professionally ballroom dancing for six years "all over": Canada, Arizona. **(Age Before Beauty)**

A past Pickford Yuletide Star Prince - 2002, according to the red sash he wears, thus he was a prince the year before Keely was the princess! **(Christmas Break)**

Bitten by Curtis on his left calf.** (Meet the Curtis)**

Enjoys stunning his math classes with Foucault's Last Conundrum. If anyone can solve it, then no homework for the entire class for the rest of the semester. Four is the answer (the last student who guessed said corduroy); third grade stuff for Phil, just a simple matter of abstract computronics. **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Has seen and used a Wizard. **(Where's the Wizard?)**

His small dog's name is **Roswell**, as in aliens crash landing in Roswell, New Mexico. **(Where's the Wizard?)**

_Unique Talents:_  
- Extraordinarily skilled with sound effects **(Not-So-Great Great, Great, Grandpa)  
**- Knows how the town got the name Pickford, something that a lot of people don't know. **(Dinner Time)**

_Memberships:  
_Recipe collecting circle  
UFO Watchers / Chili Sampler Club - Hackett covets their prized Silver Pheasant Award **(Ill of the Future)  
**Society of Surfer Teachers **(Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out) - **describing Neil Hackett's exit with boogie board as Counselor Neil Hackett in **(Corner Pocket).**

.

.

**Staff:**

_In order alphabetically by last name._

**Nurse Alasia** - turns 108 next week and the candles on her cake will likely trigger the fire alarm. **(Broadcast Blues)**

.

**Mr. Angst** - **(Versa Day)**, **(Time Release Capsule)**

A good science teacher, Angst personality has bouts of melancholy resulting from the majority of his tech savvy students possessing no interest in science. Phil (locked in Pim's form for a versa day) shows an interest in science, providing the spark to free Angst from the purgatory of teaching junior high science to teenage zombies.

Like Mr. Hackett, Mr. Angst is also clean shaven above his eyebrows; wears black-rimmed glasses

Finds joy in competent students. **(Versa Day)**

Pushes Harvey Snifflekins, the Junior Science Squad's mascot rat, to bring home the gold. **(Time Release Capsule)**

.

**Coach Buchinsky** - **(Future Jock)**

Boys' Gymnastics Coach

Speaks with an Eastern European accent

Cooks his home made lunch in the smelly gymnasium.

Lives in a tiny one room apartment.

.

**Miss Donaldson** - Huggy English teacher **(Future Jock)**

.

**Chef DuPré** - **(Age Before Beauty)**

Cooked at some of the finest schools and prisons in Louisiana, and from the looks of him, he's made a practice of sampling his cuisine constantly.

His dishes' names all start out "blackened (hot dogs)."

Speaks with a southern United States accent.

.

**Ms. Hermione Feinstein** - **(Versa-Day)**

Phil's elderly English teacher (including quatrains) whom Pim (transformed into Phil) serenades.

Only teacher at H. G. Wells who also writes her first name on the chalkboard.

.

**Mr. Flavin** - mentioned only in passing, the unseen math teacher for whom Hackett substitutes. **(Good Phil Hunting)**

possibly "Unnamed male math teacher" mentioned below

.

**Mrs. Freelander** - Is distracted by Keely to prevent her from seeing Phil go after Curtis in an H.G. Wells's hallway. **(Meet the Curtis)**

.

**Mr. Ginsberg** - **(Pheromonally Yours)** and **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

Poetry teacher **(Pheromonally Yours)**

Admits to drinking coco-nana smoothies. **(PheromonallyYours)**

Drama teacher who is oblivious in his critique to the underlying drama suddenly improving Keely's performance. **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

.

**Miss Hanks** - algebra teacher in first episode, short, but wears high heels, has extra credit algebra problems on chalkboard for math lovers only. Phil may just be her new favorite. Keely and Tia? Not so much. **(Future Tutor)**

.

**Mr. Hopkins **- Pim cheats on his anatomy quiz by using invisible ink and Debbie in a yellow jumpsuit, then confesses. **(Tanner)**

.

**Nurse Krinsky** - needs to find another job that doesn't involve owwies, blood, or x-rays. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

**Miss ****L****evy **- **(Daddy Dearest)** and **(My Way)**

Music Teacher - asks Lloyd to lecture Phil's class, then the entire school on American folk music. **(Daddy Dearest)**

Enthusiastic about American folk music **(Daddy Dearest)**

Really knows her jaw harps **(Daddy Dearest)**

Life Skills Teacher - generously gives Pim and Bradley a shared D-minus for their busted bag of flour baby. **(My Way)**

.

**Miss Mayberry **- **(Raging Bull)**

assigns Phil detention for body surfing in the hallway

almost finds out that Myron is catatonic after Phil zaps him and props Myron against lockers

.

**Mr. Adelaide Messerschmitt** - **(Phil Without a Future)**, **(Maybe-Sitting)**, **(The Giggle)**, and** (Happy Nirday)**

Introduced in Season Two

Speaks in a nasally voice.

Sometimes speaks in third person.

He sometimes tortures students by making them take really hard tests; indeed, he takes sadistic pleasure by informing his pupils they will fail before he passes out his exam.

Hangs a 12x16" picture of himself on the classroom wall, behind which is a wall safe that holds "Even Harder Tests". **(Happy Nirday)**

The Omicron Gambit - a test of his own design which has been banned in 17 school districts and Chile. **(The Giggle)**

Was proud to administer the Career Placement Test (CPT), an official state sponsored test, for students who failed to choose a career by the conclusion of Career Day. **(Phil Without a Future)**

Career Day Supervisor, he gives Phil a booklet entitled "Hot Jobs of the Future." **(Phil Without a Future)**

Tends to use metaphors to convey information to the inferior simpletons in his class, which applies to all his students as far as he's concerned. **(Phil Without a Future)**

Practices Bonsai tree trimming **(Phil Without a Future)**

_Family__:_

His parents were acrobats.

His sister's name is Fattina in captions, Battina _in credits, and called by both names in episode_ **(Maybe-Sitting)**

Sister applied to Pickford Imitation Crab Meat Plant **(Maybe-Sitting)**

His nephew is Nathan, an eight-year-old attracted to stairs and breaking things just to watch them smash. **(Maybe-Sitting)**

While his sister has remarked that a Messerschmitt family trait is a head of luscious brown wavy hair, if you met her or her son, you'd be staring at some follicles some what lower. No, not their eyebrows, a tad bit lower - yeah, that's it. Now, just try and look away if you can. Can't, can you? Join the club.

Mustache. Mustache. Mustache.

.

**Miss Mip** - **(Mummy's Boy)**

substitute, probably a future Pim using an anagram for her alias. Could she be from an alternate future, because why would anyone wiling return to high school?

adept at not only foiling pranks directed her way, but also causing them to backfire upon her attackers (well, "attacker." There's only Pim.)

drives a monster truck

.

**Miss Navia \ Navin - **Pim and Debbie's brunette home economics teacher** (Unification Day)**

naive, she's fallen for Pim's less than clever fast food meal substitutions until Debbie points one out.

.

**Miss O'Leary **- creative writing class, competes with Miss Winston's class in a less than friendly manner **(Milkin' It)**

.

**Miss Phips** - School Librarian, as crusty a piece of toast, she does keep the noise level down by her constant shushing. **(Pheromonally Yours)**

.

**Ms. Selletti** - teacher with her own office, one of Debbie Berwick's lucky cupcake receiving teachers **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

.

**Miss Tumbler** - wears orthopedic pants and that's all I have to say on the matter. **(Broadcast Blues)**

.

**Unnamed male math teacher **- **(Team Diffy) **and **(Neander-Phil)**

possibly "Mr. Flavin" mentioned above

Pim blows off his test when she thinks that she'll be returning to the future. **(Team Diffy)**

Catches Pim after she's just torn off her locker door due to an intolerance for the squeakiness of Debbie Berwick's balloon animal creation. (**Neander-Phil)**

.

**Miss Vanderhoosey** - Keely after the New Ager ages her to age 25, and then she substitutes for a few minutes in Mr. Hackett's biology class. Appears again at coffeeshop on her first date - with Mr. Hackett! Does claim the 75 year-old Blake Bastille (aka Phil) as her boyfriend. **(Age Before Beauty)**

.

**Veronica** - Redheaded teacher at H.G. Wells that dated Mr. Hackett at least once, the front of her place has a front lawn that Hackett sleeps on with sprinklers that wake him up at 5 a.m. Her mother's first name is Beverly. **(Age Before Beauty)**

.

**Mr. Weatherwax** - **(We'll Fix It In Editing) **and **(Tanner)**

Overweight, he eats fast food four times a day without complaining, which means the definition of his cooking skills consists solely of reheating by microwave.

Forever in search of an antacid.

Teaches video lab.

appreciates good penmanship

.

**Ms. Genevieve Winston** -** (Tanner)**, **(Milkin' It)**, and **(Raging Bull)**

was the 2nd grade handwriting teacher for Phil for a short period **(Tanner)**

Discipline policy in her second grade classroom was "The Quiet Club," a cardboard shed for two chairs making up her timeout area. **(Tanner)**

One of her second graders was Tanner's helmeted brother "Crash" Kirkpatrick. **(Tanner)**

Transferred and became Pim's creative writing teacher **(Milkin' It)**

Annoyed by Pim's 39 tardies to her class, she does a home parent-teacher conference at 7pm, but Pim substitutes Curtis for her parents. **(Raging Bull)**

Really knows her state facts. **(Raging Bull)**

.

.

Keely never imagined she'd finding herself wanting to thank Mr. Hackett, but his memory stick did contain the most information, complete with pictures of his childhood, time in the army, his dancing days, and even his wedding photos, complete with the entire ceremony's soundtrack. It almost took Keely as long to go through all his stuff as his marriage actually lasted. But, "thank you, Mr. Hackett," the video yearbook was getting done.

It made sense. The yearbook is almost all student generated anyway, with a faculty advisor. Digital photos, so no need for darkroom supplies; everyone had the software to generate the page layouts; really, the only actual cost of producing a yearbook was the printing and delivery. Keely pushed the issues for weeks, putting up with the garbage that was thrown in her direction, literally, but in the end, the student body couldn't really think of a good reason not to support "Krazy Keely's" idea. So, everyone agreed to honor their yearbook orders and paid the full price for a digital version, instead of the traditional dead tree kind. Nicer in many ways, with vid clips, links to classmates' sites, as well as advertisers, which pulled in more dough.

Oh, the dough? It was donated to help out families of H. G. Wells students whose families had been out of work for months or more. Now, Keely has another idea, something about a virtual graduation ceremony ... where does she get these ideas from?

.

GOOD LANGUAGE AT SCHOOL: Pass, Note, Bell, DONE

.

November 23, 2008


	8. Other Adults

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

**Author's Note: **_We're halfway through here, so if you think this something that might be useful when writing your own stories add it to your favorites so you'll have a quick link to finding it. Already I've incorporated suggestions and will continue to polish all chapters to a high level of completion._

.

"It's what?" Pim had only been half-listening.

"It's a 'Who's Who' of Pickford. All the famous people will want their names in it. Brilliant!" rushed Pim to agreement.

Then she thought about it some more, "Wait a nanosecond ... Pickford doesn't have any famous people, unless you consider Rusty Grundle, or some of its founding fathers."

"Oh, exactly," Pim was catching on now and ran with the idea, "So, if anyone else wants to join their illustrious company, they'll have to get in the book, and -" Pim was getting almost too excited for words.

Her "what's-in-in-for-me" talent was warming up, "- and to get inside, the suckker, I mean, person worthy of note, will need to offer a sizable donation, cash only, please. Of course, there'll be a sizable charg-increase in donation levels for pictures, quotes, phony family trees, website addresses, ... oh, man, this is going to be great! Now, what losers around here would shell out fresh cabbage to be 'famous?'"

.

* * *

.

**OTHER ADULTS**

**Pre-Twentieth Century Adults:**

_Ordered Chronologically_

.

**Oog** - **(Mummy's Boy)**

Caveman who stole Curtis' wristband back in prehistoric times

Presently on exhibit in the Pickford Natural History Museum's Caveman Exhibit

.

**Vanessa - (Mummy's Boy)**

Cavewoman whom Curtis had an on-again-off-again relationship with, the trouble being Curtis' unreadiness to make a commitment.

Presently on exhibit in the Pickford Natural History Museum's Caveman Exhibit.

.

**Friar Fred** - **(Team Diffy)**

Founded the Pickford Mission

Father of the town of Pickford

Forebearer, Pathfinder, Teacher, Leader of Men

Once crazy guy, for a friar

Statue of Friar Fred is new to Pickford, during Andy's nose picking prank of the statue Andy Baxley and Phil battle over it, with Phil animating the statue and ordering the statue to run. Statue runs to the Diffy house and knocks down the front door. Pim gets the statue back where it belongs.

.

**Ira Pickford** - Tomato pioneer who never found the gold he was searching for (Miner '49er?), but found "red gold." Town of Pickford built on his hard work and sweaty back (Founder?).**(You Say Toe-Mato)**

.

**Eziekiel Pickford** - brought Yuletide Star from Pickfordshire, Nevada to Pickford, California in 1865 **(Christmas Break)**

.

.

**Present Day Pickford Adults**:

_Ordered Alphabetically by Last Name_

.

**Sarah ****B****eakman** - Ketchup factory worker who almost died when a meteor came out of the Northwest and impacted in Pickford, California in 1953. - Note: in his video apology Phil states that it has been _70 years_ since the meteor strike. **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

.

**Grandma "Nana" ****B****erwick**- Deborah Berwick's grandmother **(Meet the Curtis)**; mentioned in **(Doggie Daycare)**

wears glasses **(Meet the Curtis)**

wears dentures **(Meet the Curtis)**

prevents Debbie's slumber party guests from departing early **(Meet the Curtis)**

likes the way Debbie sets a table **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

**Cornelius "Corn" ****B****odrey **- **(My Way)** and **(Team Diffy)**

Phil of the Future director Tim Maile casted as reoccurring character Conelious in Pickford.

Hangs around his counterpart nicknamed **"Nacho"** (Below)

Wears bow ties, formally dressed.

Wavy orange hair.

Sitting at table with Barbara in Club Diffy **(My Way)**

Donates money for Friar Fred statue. **(Team Diffy)**

.

**Officer ****B****unkley** - Issues Lloyd a ticket during the elder Diffys' road trip **(Phillin' In)**

.

**C****urator** - Unnamed official of the Pickford Natural History Museum **(Mummy's Boy)**

.

**Security Officer Darvin ****C****obb, Jr. (Cobby)** - guarded science expo **(Milkin' It)**

.

**Mayor Johnny ****D****a Luca** - **(Neander-Phil)** and **(Team Diffy)**

Second mayor in series, daughter is Alice Da Luca **(Neander-Phil)**

A leader of Pickfordians, he easily incites the ball attendees into pelting Phil with dinner rolls.**(Neander-Phil)**

Tells himself that he has the whitest teeth in Pickford. **(Team Diffy)**

Get his tan sprayed on. **(Team Diffy)**

.

**Sonny ****D****rizzle** - weatherman, mentioned in passing **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

.

**Ms. ****F****ishbrine **- Caters the Mayor's Ball at which Manny supervises and Keely buses tables.**(Neander-Phil)**

.

**Mr. ****F****leet **- coonskin cap wearing Tomato Ranch Public Relations Director **(You Say Toe-Mato) **and **(**Named in **Phil of the Future Book #1 - Stuck In Time)**

.

**P. J.* ****G****ennaro, DDS** - **(Daddy Dearest)**

Dentist who nearly treats Curtis.

His mentor is named Doctor Mentorman.

Backpacked through the top of the world (right under the metal cap on the globe) right after medical school - lost a toe. (OR maybe that his cover story and he's really from the future!)

*He must have been stuck with the nickname "Pajamas" all through school. (Think about it - "P. J.")

.

**Rusty ****G****rundle**, Startled Man in Monkey Patrol Movies 1 & 2, mentioned only in passing **(Time Release Capsule)**. (HE WOULD MAKE A GOOD SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OR SCHOOL BOARD MEMBER.)

.

**G****unter **- Manager of Otto's Pink Pig restaurant **(Future Tutor)**

.

**Doreen and Stan ****H****enderson** - potential house buyers of the Diffys' home **(Dinner Time)**

.

**Uncle ****J****erry** - **(Pheromonally Yours)**

Marla Beauregarde's uncle

Does some regional dinner theater

Dresses as a beefeater to issue Marla's proclamation of love for Phil.

Doesn't own his own transportation, but takes taxis.

.

**J****immy** - Maximilian the dog's boy in college **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

**Vice-Principal ****J****urgans** - West Brook's V.P., bets with Hackett and Hackett has to wear wedding dress when Phil loses the gymnastic competition **(Future Jock)**

.

**K****eith** - Diffys' water delivery guy **(Phillin' In)**

.

**Yanoosh ****I****ng** - Newscaster **(Meet the Curtis)**, **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Interview's Mr. Hackett after Curtis attacks him at school.

.

**L****enny** - Unseen, Pim's contact for bus rentals **(Halloween)**

.

**M****anny **- Manages Ms. Fishbrine's catering and is Keely's supervisor at the Mayor's luncheon at which Keely buses tables.. **(Neander-Phil)**

.

**Henrietta ****M****antis** - **(Versa Day)**

Based on his "natural handy-mannery," she hired Curtis to work at her store, Mantis Hardware.

She agreed to hired Lloyd after Curtis explained that Lloyd is tall, something few even consider including on their resumes.

.

**Sarge ****M****arge** - corrections officer at Department of Correction's booth at Career Day from the local state penitentiary **(Phil Without a Future)**

.

**M****arty** - Thai-food delivery guy who went back for the peanut sauce for Keely and Tia -**(Future Tutor)**

.

**M****aurice** - Mr. Hackett's house call making toupee installer **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

.

**Mad ****M****ax** - _Please see Honorable Mention: Maximilian below _**(Doggie Daycare)**

.

**M****aximilian** -_Please see Honorable Mention: Maximilian below_ **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

**Doctor ****M****entorman** - Mentioned in passing. Unseen mentor dentist to Dr. Gennaro **(Daddy Dearest)**

.

**The Mortons **- Mentioned in passing. Lloyd tells Mandy Teslow to try her luck with his neighbors, the Mortons, who live down the street. **(Double Trouble)**

.

**"Nacho"** - Please see **"Nacho Thalheimer"** below

.

**P****am **- Arkansas's drawled voice on line when Hackett calls government to turn in the Diffys as aliens **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

.

**Mayor ****P****ercy** - 1st Mayor as series starts, mentioned only in passing **(Milking It)**

.

**Mr. ****P****hipps - **On line 2 calling Mandy Teslow. Really needs to talk to her. She has him put on voicemail and we hear her new jingle.**(Corner Pocket)**

.

**R****eba** - Debbie Berwick's chess partner in the park. **(Corner Pocket)**

.

**Ricky ****S****ingh** - **(Phil Without a Future)**

nearly names the Wizrd "Future Probe" after his initial design dating back to when he was a student at H.G. Wells Jr/Sr High School

invents the first Wizrd in 2043, at about age 53

starts Wizrd Corp.

.

**"****N****acho" Thalhiemer - ****(My Way)** and** (Team Diffy)**

Phil of the Future director Douglas Tuber casted as reoccurring character "Nacho" in Pickford.

Hangs around Cornelius "Corn" Bodrey

In his trademark leather jacket, open bag of chips in hand, Nacho is happy munching away as the all, but silent type.

Nacho sitting at table with Barbara in Club Diffy **(My Way)**

.

**Virgil ****T****ucci **- local scientist that Sarah Beakman contacted when meteor fell from sky in Pickford in 1953, mentioned in Phil's initial documentary **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

.

**Uncle ****V****acheck** - Unseen. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Runs Discount Video Showroom.

Uncle to Helka (the Hulka) Lictenschlitz

.

**Unnamed Man –** **(Christmas Break)**

owner of home which Lloyd buys for a handful of "fish bowl rocks" (diamonds – the exhaust residue from the time machine)

an amateur gemologist

.

**Murray ****V****an Pelton** stir fries his guitar on stage at Festapalooza and the serves it to the needy. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

**Peter ****W****illiamson** of World News Today - famous reporter who takes away Keely's scoop of Phil being from the future **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

.

**Lady ****X** - Phil and Keely's current favorite musician **(The Giggle)**

.

**Mr. ****Y****amaguro** - Debbie Berwick reports to Pim that she had a copy of the Diffy household key made by Mr. Yamaguro at his shoe repair shop in Little Tokyo when she has Pim's shoes' heels lowered . **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

.

**Honorable Mention**:

**Maximilian** - **(Doggie Daycare)**

Nicknamed Mad Max

Max's master Jimmy went to college.

Pleasantly grumpy.

Max knows how to get into the Diffys' house.

Phil tells Max that he's tried drinking toilet water, too, but it's not the answer.

Was adopted as a puppy.

.

**Unnamed frog **- informs Keely and Phil about Maximilian being missing. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

.

**Future Adults**:

**The ****B****axley Family - ****(Team Diffy)**

Lloyd and Barb have know the Baxleys for years.

Andy Baxley is the son Phil's age, went to school with Phil in third grade back in the future. (Please see **"Grades 9th to 12th: 22nd Century Students"**)

.

Lloyd's unnamed **b****oss ****(Age Before Beauty)**

.

**The ****G****ronskys** - caught Greenemia in past, uh, future, ... you know what I mean **(Ill of the Future)**

.

**The ****J****acobsons** - were trapped in a massive time storm on their trip**(Christmas Break)**

.

**Abraham ****L****inclone** - **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**  
The original Abraham Lincoln was cloned in 2049, but this time he was a dark, evil man motivated only by his own greed. The clone started using the whole honesty reputuation to take advantage of people, such as gambling with people's medicine money and paying only in pennies. Eventually, despite scaring children with his twirling hypnotic eyes, he was captured and put away for life before he could do even more evil. Never the less, he has gone down in history as "Stinkin' Lincoln."

.

**Marty** (Please see **"Mel"** below) - of Marty's Used Time Machines and Waterslide, as Lloyd tells Barbara they'll be going to get a time machine. They must have been too expensive, though, because instead of buying their own, they ended up renting from Mel below. **(Time Release Capsule)**

.

**Mel (**Please see **"Marty"** above**) - (Christmas Break)**

- of Mel's Astro Trees **(Christmas Break)**

- of Mel's Used Time Machines and Waterslide, whose sign is affixed to the right side of the time machine.

**.**

**Amerigo Pelosi** - invented the Milk Engine in 2075 **(Milkin' It)**

.

**Rex** - **(Pheromonally Yours)**

Lloyd's college roommate

Barbara almost married Rex.

Used to use gene manipulator to scare off women chasing him.

**.**

**The ****T****imekeeper **- Looks like Barbara Diffy, but with long curly hair; monitors time travelers that break the rules. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

.

.

* * *

.

"They'll do. Later, we can expand this to Handsome Town, then Altaluma, Petaluma, and Sheboygan, then the World! A-ha-ha-ha! A-ha-WHuh? You're not serious. You can't be serious. Look, I'll go for a ten-percent break on blurb about you in the first printing, but no, you can't be on the cover. I don't want to hear another word about it, discussion ov- no, I did not accuse you of not being photogenic; yes, I know "skinny" is back in, but ... but ... but - hey, willya give me a chance to get a word in edgewise? Thanks. I'm thinkin' we should think upscale. How'd you like your image on the inside of a dust jacket? Huh? Huh? Nice. Alright.

You know what? I like talking to you. You're one of the few people in this century that I can stand, and when I talk to you, nobody stares at me like I'm this crazy girl talking to herself, Skully.

,

:=:

.

December 3, 2008


	9. Diffys' Homes

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

.

Lunch break time and once more Lloyd was faced with the task of considering what to do with the meal Barbara had lovingly packed. At the card table which doubled as both the receiving counter and employee lunch table, sat his hairy supervisor, Curtis, already busy gobbling up his own lunch, bag and all.

"URrrp! SORry. CUrtis HUngry." Curtis eyed Lloyd's lunch sack. "LLOYd GEtting FAT? MAybe SHould LOse FEw POUnds? CUrtis HElp," suggested the ever hungry caveman, his arms outstretched to potentially receive a second course.

Lloyd considered his offer, his lunch, and the reaction from his wife if, or rather "when" she heard that he had passed along his lunch she made to Curtis. His own stomach gurgled, and he winced, remembering his last trip to have his stomach pumped. "Here you go, Boy. Bon appetite."

Happy sounds issued from the receiver of Barb's cuisine. Lloyd admired Curtis's cast iron stomach, but he'd have to find a way to fill his own today. Maybe try one of those 21st Century porcupine sandwiches. He'd remembered from historical records that they were a favorite in this century. Surely, they must be on menus by now. His supervisor was, uh, occupied, so Lloyd let Henrietta Mantis know that he was stepping out for lunch and he'd be back in 30. His stomach announced its displeasure once more, loudly, and Henrietta couldn't have Lloyd leave her store fast enough. "Go! Go! Take 35, even."

A wave swept over Lloyd, one of not being appreciated by his employer. His stomach growled more insistently at him. It couldn't wait for porcupine, not even muskrat. An extra large with everything on it at Pickford Pizza around the corner would have to suffice. His mouth watered. His tongue became dry. He really wasn't looking where he was going and then he couldn't. Lloyd had been sacked; oh, not in the usual manner of today's economy, but grabbed, snatched, shanghaied. From his part time job at Mantis, he was already familiar with the scent of duct tape as it was unrolled, then wrapped around him, arms, hands - he was pushed into some kind of vehicle and told to be quiet and everything would be explained to him in time, but Lloyd had questions. Lots of them.

"Say, are you folks hungry, too? We could all stop off for some pizza - my treat."

"Could you drop me off at work? My lunch time is almost over and I can't afford to have my pay docked. You understand, don't you?"

Slience. Lloyd kept the rest of his questions to himself, which was just as well, cuz the other questions worried him to no end. He had nearly let down his guard and then this.

Who were these people?

How much did they know?

How did they know?

Was his family safe, and if they were, for how long?

Where were they taking him and what were they going to do to him when they got him there?

Unsettling questions such as those even silenced his stomach.

Eventually, as in "in seemed a lifetime, the parking brake was set. He had arrived, wherever. Lloyd would have liked some conversation, even the radio left on - anything, but the companionship of his worse fears: government, being caged, his family separated, being locked away to retell their story over and over again to an unseen audience whom wouldn't believe the truth anyway.

.

**Diffys' Homes**

**Diffys' Home in Pickford:**

house Number 182, two story home, 4 bedroom, 2 Bath in Pickford Heights Adjacent, a traditional Craftsman **(Dinner Time)**

.

Home Phone Number 555-8077 **(Dinner Time)**

.

See the neighborhood street the Diffys live on **(Future Tutor)**, **(Future Jock)**,**(Christmas Break)**

.

Bricks in front of house.

.

Two wicker chairs on front porch.

.

Entry into living room (with exit to backyard through two glass paned doors) and dining room (window to front porch), kitchen with full-size dining table and exits to backyard and living room, back and front porches, upstairs has separate bedrooms for Parents ("Lloyd, I hear something downstairs," in **Meet the Curtis**), Phil and Pim (as seen when they come down for breakfast). White railing on back porch and steps down to lawn.

.

Free standing garage with side entry door and leaky roof **(Meet the Curtis)** for Curtis to live in, as well as Lloyd's work area (also turned into "Phil's Place" in**"Phil of the Garage"**), Curtis' cave drawings decorate the tar paper inside of the garage. _Uh, where does Curtis go to the bathroom?_

.

Key to garage in kitchen. **(Phillin' In)**

.

One-piece automatic garage door. **(Phillin' In)**

.

Backyard is small, mostly lawn, A-frame wooden picnic table painted red.

.

Pim has at least four tunnels beneath it (tunnel from her room to the side fence, main tunnel, side tunnel, and emergency tunnel).

.

One of Pim's tunnels is accessed from beneath the kitchen cupboard.** (Phil of the Garage)**

.

Can see State Penitentiary from top floor, but where the prisoners' escape tunnels always come up 10 feet short of the wire - per Pim trying to sell home**(Dinner Time)**

.

Floor of Phil's room has been rebuilt by Curtis **(Phil of the Garage)**

.

Parents' room has the light on a "Clapper" **(Phil of the Garage)**

.

Shower curtains dress kitchen window and back door **(Maybe Sitting)**

.

Trash day in the neighborhood is Saturday. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

Ill mannered dog leaves a present each day on the Diffys' front lawn. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

Utensils used as decorations: multicolored spatulas in vase as if they were flowers; dust wands arranged as a potted fern.

.

Gas station close enough that Phil considers using its bathroom. **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

.

**Diffys' Home in Future:**

"Washed" dishes with ultrasonic laser light from a bumpy tower - seemed more like "disintegrated" **(Future Jock)**

.

Lloyd's workchair and light by video screen before Li'l Pim infantizes him **(New Ager)**

**.**

Comfa-cliner - **(Future Tutor)**, **(Phil of the Future Books)**

The lounge chair of multicolored tubed cushions Phil lays out on to go to school in the future with the homework helmet.

.

.

}-{

December 24, 2008


	10. H G Wells Jr–Sr High School

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

**_Dedications: Ethics_**

I dedicate this term paper on the superior ethics of the teenage male to Mr. Ginsberg, who, in addition to being an awesome advisor and drama producer of the upcoming production of Aaron Stone, the Musical. Aaron is a tall, dashing teenager embodying superior ethics, like myself. - Tanner Kirkpatrick, Actor

.

**CH10 H. G. Wells Jr.–Sr. High School**

Part of the Pickford Unified School District, Herbert G. Wells Jr./Sr. High School offers classroom instruction for local students grades seven through twelve.

******SCHOOL CONSTRUCTION AND ENVIRONMENT:**

Areas: Art Class **(Pim-Cipal)**, Bathrooms **(Versa-Day)**, **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**, **(Double Trouble)** and **(Unification Day)**, Broadcast Room, Flag Pole **(****Get Ready to Go-Go****)**, Glass Brick Office across from Mosaic, Gymnasium **(Future Jock)**, Hallways, Lunch, Patio, Lunch Room, Nurse's Office **(Doggie Daycare)**, Science Lab **(Age Before Beauty), (Versa Day)**, Shop Class **(Pim-Ciple**), Showers, Staircase, Teachers' Lounge **(Where's the Wizrd?)**, Fast Walking Track **(****We'll Fix It In Editing****)**

Astronaut tile mosaic in hallway is entitled "Education Is Our Future"

Bathrooms:

-Girls' Bathroom - seen from outside **(Versa-Day)**; seen inside **(Versa-Day)**

-Boys' Bathroom - seen from outside **(Versa-Day)**; seen inside **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

-Downstairs Boys' Bathroom - seen from inside and outside as Phil and Myron negotiate Phil's future. **(Double Trouble)**

-H.G. Wells 11th Grade Bathroom (Boys) - drab green tiles, paint, bathroom stalls, framed pictures of race cars on three legged stands in window sills. **(Unification Day)**

Cafeteria Food: Hot Dogs **(Future Tutor)**; Low-fat Cinnaporkmuffins, Dolphin-Safe Lasagna **(Broadcast Blues)**; Fish Sticks Friday (Pim-Cipal); Sloppy Joes **(The Giggle)**; Spaghetti and Meatballs (baseballs unintended) **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**,

School colors are Skylab Blue **(Ill of the Future)** and yellow.** (Future Jock), (Age Before Beauty)** and **(Corner Pocket)**

Trophy case **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Vending machine in Gym has Señor Nougat candy bars. **(Corner Pocket) **There are more in the lunch room. **(Christmas Break)**

Walls are painted light blue with lavender and dark blue trim and accents, frosted glass on outer windows and transparent glass brick inside.

X-ray machine: there's one in the nurse's office. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

.

**Activities and Classes:** (Need more extracurricular activities on your college applications? You've come to the right place!)

Advanced Progressive Mathematics Class - **(Good Phil Hunting)**  
Members can finish their ton of homework before school is over.  
Members include Grady Spaggett, Alex, Protractor Kelly, and those that stand in the back and don't talk.  
Punch line to many jokes is 1101001, which is funny in itself for being in seven-bit binary code, and not 4, 6, 8, 16, 32 or 64.  
Advanced Progressive Mathematics Decathlon Finals - written on chalkboard  
Phil calls the students names: "Math Nerds," "Nerd Garden," and "Digit Heads."  
Hackett calls them his "Dauper Digit-Doodling Dandies," "My Little Grade Skippers," "Sweet, Sweet Nerds," and "Prized Show Geeks."

.

Astronomy Club - mentioned only in passing on poster, though we have to conclude that anyone who actually helps regrease the planetarium's telescope would be a member. Right, Grady? **(Corner Pocket)**

.

A-V Club - **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Two rules: Don't talk about A-V Club. A-V Club is to be seen and not heard.

Member: Overhead Jean Claude

.

Band **(Future Tutor)**

.

Billiards Matches **(Corner Pocket)**

.

Biology - Hackett teaches using the textbook: Modern Biology **(Age Before Beauty)**

.

Brigadoon: A story of love in an ancient Scotish city trapped in time. Friday and Saturday 7:50 pm. - H.G. Wells play by students - **(Double Trouble)**

.

Career Day **(Phil Without a Future)**

.

Spirit Squad - cheerleaders **(Corner Pocket)**

.

Ceramic Class - Keely had a rough time on her quiz. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

Close-up Magic Club **(Good Phil Hunting)** and **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

.

Cross Country Team - mentioned only in passing in news report** (Back to the Future)**

.

CPT: Career Placement Test **(Phil Without a Future)**

.

Fast Walking Invitational - **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**  
H. G. Wells has had a history of outstanding fast walkers.  
Next races are in Altaluma, Petaluma, and Sheboygan

.

Floor surfing - sliding on your chest on newly waxed floors. An annual tradition, though absolutely not a school sanctioned sport, in the hallways of H.G. Wells, where any student with with a notion and low-friction fabrics (Phil's were likely coated with zero-friction fluids to repeal dirt and stains) can achieve legendary status among his peers. **(Raging Bull)**

.

Football Team is H.G. Wells Astronauts - **(Ill of the Future)****  
**"Go Astronauts!"  
Framed embroidery on wall in Hackett's office: "Home of the H. G. Wells Fighting Astronauts" **(Where's the Wizard?)**  
Bruno Longfellow is quarterback.

.

French Club - has Alice DaLuca as a member **(Neander-Phil)**

.

Glee Club **(Future Tutor)**

.

Gymnastic Competitions **(Future Jock)**

.

H.G. Wells Distinguished Speakers series, in which Lloyd, Phil, and Pim play American Folk Music **(Daddy Dearest)**

.

H. G. Wells Morning Announcements **(Ill of the Future)**

.

H. G. Wells Witness News Team (when Hackett was reporting) **(Future Jock)**

.

Invention Expo **(Milkin' It)**

.

High School Drill Team - tryout flyer on teachers' lounge door **(Where's the Wizard?)**

.

Junior Accounting Club - wants to know where all the money is that Pim has raised for Harvey Snifflekins therapy** (Time Release Capsule)**

.

Junior Class Bake Sale - mentioned only in passing on a poster **(Double Trouble)**

.

Junior Math Club **(Ill of the Future)**

.

Junior Veterinary Club - correctly diagnoses Harvey Snifflekins, the Junior Science Squad's mascot, as suffering from exhaustion, despite what Mr. Angst thinks.**(Time Release Capsule)**

.

Karate Club - has Alice DaLuca as a member **(Neander-Phil)** and on shaking poster girl hides behind **(Versa-Day)**

.

Keely's Korner - **(Broadcast Blues)****  
**Pim's infomercials disguised as Keely's short-lived audience attending "news" broadcasts.  
Sells hair scrunchies, tube socks, padlocks and chains, multicolored rag mophead wigs, umbrella skirts, aluminum foil halter tops.

.

Keely Teslow Investigates, I'm Keely Teslow - **(Broadcast Blues)**  
The true spirit of Keely's own news broadcasts, interrupted briefly by Pim's renaming Teslow's show "Keely's Korner" before Keely canned Pim and returned to her investigative journalism roots.  
On in prime-time between fifth period science and special ed. p.e.

.

Key Club **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

.

Lady's Choice Dance **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

.

Life Skills class - Pim and Bradley raise bag of flour named "Chuck" **(My Way)**

.

Metal Shop - **(Future Tutor)** and **(Pim-Ciple)**

.

Morning News Announcements - 8:15 **(Back to the Future)**

.

Pep Squad - mentioned only in passing on a poster **(Christmas Break)**

.

Pregame dinner for football game (traditional) **(Ill of the Future)**

.

Recycling Club - mentioned only in passing on a poster **(Future Jock)** and**(Double Trouble)**

.

School Orchestra **(Neander-Phil)**

.

Spanish Class **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

Spanish Club **(Where's the Wizard?)**

.

Star of the Future Competition **(My Way)**

.

Student Disciplinary Board **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

.

Sunrise Club - which meets at school, you guessed it, before sunrise **(The Giggle)**

.

Theoretical Physics Club **(Good Phil Hunting)** and **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

.

Time Capsule **(Time Release Capsule)**

.

Varsity Basketball Team - on posted support flyer **(Neander-Phil)**

.

Video Production Class **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

.

Wells's Marching Band **(Age Before Beauty)**

.

Wrestling **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

.

.

**Lockers:**

Phil's Locker Decked Out:  
Neon "Phil's" light **(Double Trouble)**  
Regular locker section rotates out of the way for "Phil's Place" bistro.  
First appearance of the shelf. **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**  
Shelf pulled out of top portion of the locker just beneath Phil's for pitcher of water **(Double Trouble)**  
Shelf pulled out for orange juice **(Age Before Beauty)**  
Shelf pulled out for the enjoyment of spray cheese (the original spray food!) **(Neander-Phil)**

Phil's Locker Plain:  
Large calculator on left as seen from inside Locker looking back at Phil and Keely **(Double Trouble)**

.

Keely's Locker:

blue locker with Flower petaled mirror, magnets and decals, H.G. Wells emblem, and pictures of cats on door, flower notepad inside, and leopard-skin wall paper inside **(Phil Without a Future)**

Butterfly stickers and pictures adorn inside of blue-gray locker door, along with dragonfly pictures and a photo of a yellow flower on a greeting card. **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

.

.

**School Animals and Honorable Mentions:**

annelids (worms)-** (Versa Day)**

Bell Call - the school's rooster that perches out behind the equipment shed. **(Phil Without a Future)**

Carmen - Pussycat-tempered twin bull brother to Ramon that Frankie meant to bring to the dance. **(Raging Bull)**

chickens - unbroadcasted footage **(pilot episode)**

Chuck - Pim and Bradley's sack of flour for Life Skills class. **(My Way)**

cockroaches - Keely announces in the morning report that she's sure going to miss them (Future Halloween)

Harvey Snifflekins - the Junior Science Squad's mascot, that has brought home the gold **(Time Release Capsule)**

pigs, feral litter of - living in abandoned volleyball court **(Broadcast Blues)**

Plemon (or do you prefer "Plumon"?)- Keely and Phil's final biology project, a cross between a plum and a lemon. Plemon's fruit looks like a lemon with three large round purple splotches. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Ramon - Twin brother to Carmen and not a pussycat until Phil zaps him. **(Raging Bull)**

.

.

**Other Schools/Teams:**

Central - The School's outdoor message board declares that Friday's football game will be against Central **(Time Release Capsule)**

Franklin - H. G. Wells plays Franklin school in Billiards match. **(Corner Pocket)**

Handsome Town High **(Via, Tia, or Me... Uhh)**

Handsome Town Trolls - "Trounce the Trolls"** (Ill of the Future)**

Unnamed elementary school - Phil is assigned here temporarily for part of his school day to learn how to print legibly. **(Tanner)**

Unnamed military school **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Washington **(Future Jock)**

Westbrook Vikings **(Future Jock)**


	11. Pickford, California

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

Dedications:

I dedicate this term paper on the wonders of chemistry to a tenth grader who requests anonymity, but who taught me the advantages of chemical triggers. Chemistry is awesome in allowing "things" to occur at a predetermined time in the future, while I'll could be doing something else, some where else, with witnesses. Witnesses are vital, just like chemical bonding, and joy buzzers. -**Kyle Speckle**

* * *

.

Author's Notes:

_[Thanks to Sultan Peppershaker for pinning down the long debated exact location of Pickford, California! Area code, Brilliant! (Please see "Pickford Corp Hair Replacement Products" below. Gotta love the detail inserted into the mocked up catalog's cover!)]_

_update: Thanks _to_ Glenn Leider for pointing out that we had the wrong Ontario. Seems there's a somewhat larger one in Canada that owns the 905 area code. Shazbut! - Whoops, wrong series. Cold Crab Cocktail! Please seen Glenn's review for his complete analysis._

**CH11 PICKFORD**

Pickford, California  
905 area code - on brochure for hairpieces created by Pickford Corp Hair Replacement Products **(You Say Toe-Mato)  
**Citizens call themselves Pickfordians or Pickfordites **(Team Diffy)  
**Phil says that the town is "Pickford, California" **(We'll Fix It In Editing)  
**

**Pickford Coordinates and Surroundings:**  
tracking device 42 Latitude, 112 Longitude (No, Keely, not even close to being in California.) **(Phillin' In)  
**North of Kidd Rock, East of Ricki Lake, short-cut through Tiger Woods**(Phillin' In)  
**Near Handsome Town **(Get Ready to Go-Go)**; and with names like that, Candida's Fashion Model Camp on Lake Fancy Pants has to be close by!**(Maybe-Sitting)  
**"Pickford, right off the freeway." - Keely** (Tanner)  
**A swamp, which the city plans to drain (when it gets around to it)**(Christmas Break) **can be seen from the Diffys' second story, as can the state prison.** (Dinner Time)**

Two-story houses are very popular in Pickford; no mention of any basements (more room for Pim to tunnel about). There's a nighttime aerial view of Pickford in each episode's opening as the skyak soars into the sky. Daytime aerial come courtesy of Pim's skyak joyriding. **(****Phillin' In****)**

.

.

**_Pickford Businesses and Places of Interest:_**

abandoned sneaker factory - mentioned only in passing, as new neighbor Hackett could still smell it **(Dinner Time)** - (Maybe it wasn't the "old smog" Lloyd was getting a whiff of!) **(Christmas Break)**

.

Bark at the Moon Pets - Pet store holding a pet adoption day - **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

Bobby's Balloon World - **(Good Phil Hunting)**

.

Cocoa Palace -  
may harbor bad memories for Keely as it's the coffeeshop where Mr. Hackett goes to meet Miss Vanderhoosey after school **(Age Before Beauty)**;  
mentioned in passing as the meeting place for Keely and Tanner to practice their lines for the balcony scene** (Your Cheatin' Heart)**

.

Dead Man's Gorge -** (Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

.

Discount Video Showroom - **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)** .  
Helka (the Hulka) Lictenschlitz's Uncle Vacheck's business  
She works out there by lifting forty-inch plasma screen televisions.  
Restrooms are for paying customers only.  
"Poor credit, no credit? No problem."  
Telephone number 555-01DA

.

Feek Meadows - where Lloyd, Phil and Keely plan to ditch the newly discovered Curtis **(Meet the Curtis)**

.

Frayed Rope Bridge - over Dead Man's Gorge ** (Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

.

Friar Fred Statue - **(Team Diffy)**

**.**

Herbert G. Wells Jr. – Sr. High School

.

Little Tokyo - **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

the lodge - where the mayor's ball is held, "the" lodge signifies one lodge in Pickford **(Neander-Phil)**

.

Mantis Hardware -** (Versa Day), (Maybe-Sitting), (Happy Nirday), (Tia, Via, or Me ... Uhh):**  
proprietor Henrietta Mantis  
prefers chemical solutions to home problems.  
Lloyd works under his supervisor, Curtis.  
Weed-Scram, in aisle 1  
chlorine tablets on sale on end of aisle 2  
red aprons  
red hand shopping baskets

.

mini golf : only one hole though and you have to bank it. A drifter (Possibly one Pim will hire!) moved into the windmill and started raising chinchillas. **(Team Diffy)**

.

Otto's Pink Pig: **(Future Tutor)** .  
Bavarian Restaurant on the corner of Second and Bustrom that has wooden interior, booths with table cloths, a dance floor and polka music.  
Serves Schnitzel and Uberplatter with a side of curly fries;  
Keely picks this as the setting for Phil to start tutoring her in Algebra;  
Phil uses the food on the table as math manipulatives.

.

park - **(Happy Nirday), (Team Diffy)**, and **(Tia, Via, or Me ... Uhh)**

.

Petting Zoo - mentioned in passing **(Tanner)**, in Pickford Penny Pincher**(Virtu-Date)**

.

Pickford Copy Shop - run by a spectacled, dark haired man, it's where Lloyd first takes Curtis in search of a job **(Versa Day)**

.

Pickford Corp Hair Replacement Products - Toupe catalog's cover **(You Say Toe-Mato)** .  
P.O. Box 222 - Pickford, CA  
1-905-555-1212 (yes, it's 2121 backward!)

.

Pickford Imitation Crab Meat Plant **(Maybe-Sitting)**

.

Pickford Natural History Museum **(Mummy's Boy)**

.

Pickford Park **(Tia, Via, or Me ... Uhh), (Happy Nirday)**

.

Pickford Penny Pincher - bargain hunter's news circular, so there's likely an office. **(Virtu-Date)**

.

Pickford Pizza** (Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**  
can be reached two ways from H. G. Wells Jr. – Sr. High School: by crossing at theintersection with no traffic light, or crossing Frayed Rope Bridge over Dead Man's Gorge.

.

Pickford Pony District (**Where's the Wizard?)**

.

Pickford Protection District **(Where's the Wizard?)**

.

Pickford Public Access (T.V.) **(Mummy's Boy), (Christmas Break)**

.

Pickford Swank District **(Phil of the Garage)**

.

Pickford Town Mall

.

Pickford Tomato Ranch - Ketchup Days Celebration of historical reenactment**(You Say Toe-Mato), (Good Phil Hunting)**

.

Pickford Witness Protection District **(Where's the Wizard?)**

.

Shoe Repair Shop in Little Tokyo where Debbie Berwick has Pim's shoes' heels lowered and has a copy of the key to the Diffys' house made by Mr. Yamaguro. **(Doggie Daycare)**

.

State Prison - mentioned only in passing, where the escape tunnels always come up 10 feet short of the wire **(Dinner Time)**

.

swamp - visible from the Diffys' house until it's drained **(Christmas Break)**

.

Tommy's Tacoteria - mentioned only in passing , where Pim gets tacos for her cooking project **(Unification Day)**

.

U-Dry-Em Raisin Ranch - where Pim wants to arrange a field trip to after she learns that Debbie hates raisins **(Corner Pocket)**

.

Yodel's Ice Cream Parlor - mentioned only in passing , Keely last threw up at Yodel's **(My Way)**

.

.

**_Entertainments:_**

**Movies****:**

Unnamed Sci-Fi Movie - Phil spoils the movie experience for Keely by pointing out all mistakes the movie makers made in their vision of the future. **(Dinner Time)**

Samurai, I Love You **(Dinner Time)**

Creeping Crawlers - starring Patrick Runco and Ashley Taylor **(The Giggle)**

The Legend of Rocky Ridge **(The Giggle)**

Try Solitude - upcoming movie poster **(The Giggle)**

Lost Pony 2 (So there should have been a Lost Pony 1) **(Via, Tia, or Me... Uhh)**

.

**T.V.****:**

The Lost and the Lonely- Gaston was Keely's first crush**(Double Trouble)**

(Mexican Wrestling videos) - featured Pedro Concaso & El Guapo - **(Double Trouble)**

(News) reported by field reporter Yanoosh Ing - **(Meet the Curtis)**

Pickford Public Access****** (Mummy's Boy), (Christmas Break)**

The Weather Network **(Phenomonally Yours)**

Who Wants To Marry A Dentist? **(Future Jock)**

.

**Live Events****:**

Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony - presided over by the Pickford Yuletide Star Princess (or Prince) putting the town's most prized possession, their fragile antique Pickford Yuletide Star atop the crown, which triggers the lighting of the entire tree **(Christmas Break)**

Festapalooza concert on Saturday **(Doggie Daycare)** .  
Legendary concert.  
About 50 bands  
Murray Van Pelton stir fries his guitar on stage and the serves it to the needy.  
Tickets are 100 bucks.

Mayor's Ball **(Neander-Phil)**

Pickford Bake-Off & Pickle Tasting Competition - prize is the Golden Gherkin**(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

Pickford Poultry Fair - mentioned only in passing by Debbie Berwick in a chicken suit **(Tanner)**

Pickford Potato Festival - mentioned only in passing as the reason Barbara isn't present in the episode **(Maybe-Sitting)**

.

.

**_Products_****:**

Kookies - The all, but broken animal cookies which Pim discards nearly the entire brown bag full while searching for a whole cookie to decapitate. **(Future Jock)**

Lorenzo Lamas hair toupee -** (You Say Toe-Mato)**

Nice Soda - Lemon-lime pop Pim drinks. **(Future Jock)**

Pickford Farms Jellied Cranberry Sauce - canned, and better served before Phil drops the last can of it on the floor **(Team Diffy)**

Pickford Penny Pincher: The Source for Automotive, Homes, Jobs, Events, Classifieds, and More! -** (Dinner Time)**

Presumption - cologne spritzed by bathroom attendant Seth** (Unification Day)**

Raisins - boxed at the nearby** U-Dry-Em Raisin Ranch ****(Corner Pocket)**

S. H. Schulman's: The Fall Collection - catalog Pim scans for her Repliboy date. **(Get Ready to Go-Go)**

Señor Nougat - candy bars **(Corner Pocket)**

Suds - diswashing powder in yellow box **(Future Jock)**

Sugar Bombs - breakfast cereal in a orange box with blue lettering on the Diffys' table. **(Tia, Via, or Me-Uh)**

Pickford's Famous Tomatoes - **(Time Release Capsule)**

Wacky String - What Phil as Kyle Speckle sprays Mr. Hackett's vest with in the Lunch Room. **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Weed-Scram - carried by Mantis Hardware instead of selling weed wackers. **(Versa Day)**


	12. Future in 2121

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

Dedications: Physics: Chaos Theory

I dedicate this term paper on order and chaos to **Candida Keagle**, who stylishly exemplifies order in the chaos which is eighth grade. Thank you for your invaluable make-up consultations during first, third and sixth periods. There really is no better way to deal with the chaos of smudge whipgloss better than a fresh application of WinkyPink! - **Fiona Lamky**

.

CH12 Future in 2121

**aliens**: First official contact in 2103 occurred eight years after Unification Day establishing in 2095, which was 8 + 8 years after humanity's lower digits were reduced to eight tootsies in 2079. Not just another conspiracy theory! Here's what happened: Unintentionally, the aliens exposed Earthlings to one of their viruses which resulted in the near-instantaneous gene splicing on a global scale. Although the only known effect of this was receding little toes to the point of elimination, the aliens - never officially admitting involvement, mind you - felt guilty and certain that humanity would realize the connection if they ever caught the aliens with their own shoes off, so to ease their consciences, humanity suddenly found itself on the receiving end of a galactic gain in science, technology and medicine. Their galactic music needed work though, so it all worked out in the end. Earthlings remain resistive to adopting the aliens' base-8 numerical system with a determination not seen since the Americans tried to go metric back in the 70s. **(Dinner time)**

.

**androids**: Check out individual descriptions in "Chapter 14 Future Technology". Needless to say, but I'll mention it in passing, there are androids in the future to satisfy the desires of the citizens of 2121. They come in a wide variety of models; check themselves out yourself in the Thompson Cybernetic Catalog.

.

**belly button lint: **valuable in the future due to the use of Natal Pods. No natural birth equates to no belly buttons, making belly button lint a rarity. It's all about supply and demand ... hey, they think you 21st Century denizens are pretty weird for what you're buying on eBay, too! It's not just pinkie toes that have gone missing in the 22nd Century; common sense is still missing! **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

.

**Blahs**: future pets that drain anxiety from humans - too much contact however can make people completely unmotivated so they suffer from the "Whatevers." Red, green, blue, or purple "globby" shaped bodies with two feet and two eyes, some of which can fly. Forget attack squirrels; these are the true instruments of Pim's plan for domination!**(Phil of the Future Video Game)**

.

**Bring Your Child and/or Robot To Work Day**: at which Phil cloned his butt at age 9. Now if he had made just a photocopy, at worst it would have ended up in the family Christmas card, but (no pun intended (okay, maybe)) what does one do with a genetically duplicated derrière? **(Phil Without a Future)**

.

**Cheeseola**: Phil's favorite cheese-flavored sparkling soda. It's GOUDA! I wonder if the Swiss Cheese flavor contains bigger bubbles ... **(Future Tutor)**

.

**Christmas**: trees have been upgraded to robotic trees (at least one of which has a bad reputation for violence and mayhem) and carols reduced (or elevated) to advertising jingles.**(Christmas Break)**

.

**coin**: raised silver-colored center and wide rim with a yellow ring in it's center depression; one side has tentacles; made of extraterrestrial alloy that is discovered in 2053. Satisfactory rolling properties due to its unusual configuration granting the coin an excellent flywheel configuration **(Christmas Break)**

.

**commuter space bus**: Running from Mercury to the Oort Cloud, Lloyd took Barbara on one on their first Nirday together, even though he could only afford a couple of aisle seats. Be respectful of the bus. If you think a skyak is speedy, then imagine that to make the run from the inner most planet to the far flung Oort Cloud on a Nirday. This bus makes the skyak look like a drowsy escargot. **(Happy Nirday)**

.

**death**: still present, as evidenced by the funeral of Phil's Uncle Mort **(Pheromonally Yours)**

.

**employment**: still exists in 2121, despite the power of a Wizrd, as evidenced in Lloyd Diffy's employment **(New Ager)**

**.**

**Eternal Lollipop**: Slogan that Pim steals: "Profits are spelled S-U-C-K-E-R-S in my business!" I love that joke. Makes me wonder what other gems were snuck into PotF books # 5, 6, 7, and 8 before their printing was shelved, and what flavors are available in 2121, since cola now comes in "cheese." **(Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out)**

.

**family structure**: grandparents **(Corner Pocket) and (Time Release Capsule)**, uncles **(Pheromonally Yours)**, brothers **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)** ... all still present in the future

.

**Fybel**: Phil's musical instrument in the future which is blown on, hit, and has strings.**(You Say Toe-Mato)** Not be confused with other future musical instruments such as transboxes nor boomatogs. **(Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out)**. Surely named after PotF writer Dan Fybel.

.

**Greenemia**: future disease that only affected the Diffys. Three stages are typical for this malady: First symptom is a reversal of personality. Second is skin turning green. Third is growing a long white beard, but the loss of the first symptom. Disease doesn't last long (less than a day) **(Ill of the Future)**

.

**Halloween Trick-or-Treating**: still goes on with the same half-handfuls of candy; only the costumes have become more realistic courtesy of the Instamorph. **(Future Halloween)**

.

**housing:** Housing space must be at a premium for the culture in 2121! Barbara is shocked to find out that the "entire house is for sale" and that Lloyd bought "the entire house." **(Christmas Break)**

.

**Level II Gonk-noy**: absorbs information just by touching books. I wonder if it works with computer screens ... maybe that's a Level I?** (The Giggle)**

.

**Lobsters: **valuable in the future, mostly because they've gone extinct. Lobster Bisque caused their demise, according to Lloyd, although these days it appears as though increasing acidity levels in sea water will be the culprit by disolving the calcium in the lobsters' shell. **(Time Release Capsule)**, **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

.

**malls:** are 90-stories high. Inside, well, it's heaven as far as Keely's concerned, with clothing shops that don't require standing in line for changing rooms (or the use of the portable changing room Tia modeled at the invention convention), restaurants which are made to order, and friendly soda jerk robots. **(Team Diffy)**

.

**marriage**: still present, evidenced courtesy of Barbara (Speckle) and Lloyd Diffy**(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

.

**Mel's Astro Trees:** Mel's sells traditional SH900 fully programable Astro Trees; Lloyd's preferred holiday tree.**(Christmas Break)**

.

**Mel's Used Time Machines and Waterslide:** Mel diversifies, and Lloyd? He's a happy and loyal customer.** (Time Release Capsule)** and **(Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out)**

.

**Mockberry Chew** : 22nd Century candy bar** (Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out)**

.

**Monkey Juggling**: a Christmas tradition that makes Christmas "Christmas" for Lloyd **(Christmas Break)**

.

**Moon Dust:** Mother and Father Diffy sprinkled Honey Scented Moon Dust on baby Pim's bottom, as was the fad. Didn't help - she still turned out to be a stinker! **(Time Release Capsule)**

.

**Natal Pod:** Children of the 22nd Century emerge from Natal Pods, instead of the traditional origin (if you don't know where babies come from, ask your parents - even if you know, ask your parents - it's fun to watch them squirm and get flushed!)** (Phil of the Garage)**

.

**New Smog**: Sweeter than the classic smog of the early twenty-first century, and just as filling. Yes, like most of the population of the 22nd Century the Diffys have bought into the propaganda of smog providing essential minerals for good health - this was a far less expensive than cleaning up the atmosphere, or providing everyone with free chewable vitamins. Who'd have guessed that the world government would have resorted to using people as reservoirs for carbon emissions? **(Christmas Break)**

.

**N.I.R.D. (Natal Input and Registration Day)** - **(Happy Nirday):**

The equivalent of a birthday, but celebrating the emergence from a natal pod. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Your code is in the system.

You have global wisdom.

Good for you, good for you.

.

**Pliable Polymers**: the 22nd Century material that Lloyd liked to sculpt with and what he would have used to make Phil's fake pinkie toes if he was still back in 2121, instead of being limited in his choice to using 21st Century plastics. Excellent in appearance, yet only adequate in adhesive properties. **(Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out)**

.

**Robotic money growing trees:** The 22nd Century version of pink flamingos on the front lawn - so 2112.** (Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

.

**22nd Century space program: **"We can send Space Star to Kreebolok 7 ..." Hey, your guess is as good as mine. "Space Star" could be a renamed Milky Way candy bar for all I know. **(Where's the Wizrd?)**


	13. Interjections and Slang

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

_Dedications: Detention_

_I dedicate this disciplinary report on all the &%$#! and !#$%&* dweebs at Wells. Students, too! This crummy school has no sense of humor, no appreciation for style, true genius, or a person with vision. One day, I will be in charge and then they'll be payback like money loaners only dream of! So say I, Pim Diffy, Future-Ruler-At-Large._

__

What do you mean by "better clean up your language, Pim"? What'd I say that was worse than what's below?

* * *

'

CH13 Interjections and Slang

Arranged alphabetically, not by food category, and identifying who said what:

All-You-Can-Eat-Breadsticks - Pim **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Are you playin' or strayin'? - Lloyd **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Bejunkas (What gets scared out of Lloyd instead of the "bejeebers) - Lloyd **(Unification Day)**

Butter my beans - Lloyd **(Neander-Phil)**

Cold Crab Cocktail - Lloyd

Chili-Con-Carne - **(Not-So-Great Great, Great Grandpa)**

Chunks! - Seth **(Corner Pocket)**

Crumbling Goganzola - Lloyd **(Neander-Phil)**

Crumbsticks - Pim **(Unification Day)**

Crummy Bumpers - Lloyd **(Neander-Phil)**

Dill Weed - Pim, Andy Baxley **(Team Diffy)**

Dillman - Pim **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Doofus - Andy Baxley, Curtis **(Team Diffy)**

Doofus Head - Lloyd **(Phillin' In)**

Fudge Crackers - Debbie Berwick **(Meet the Curtis)**

Fungus Head - Phil **(Phillin' In)**

Gash darn, you scared the bejunkas out of me - Lloyd **(Unification Day)**

Got Peace? - Diffys **(Unification Day)**

Great Gobs of Gelt! - Lloyd **(Christmas Break)**

Grape Juice - Pim** (Pim-cipal)  
**

Harrk! - Lloyd **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Horse Cakes - Myron **(Raging Bull)**

Hot Scraps! - Debbie Berwick **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**

Knuckle Dragging Yabbo - Pim to Curtis **(Phil of the Garage)**

Kung-pow Chicken! - Lloyd **(Good Phil Hunting)**

Love Muffin - Mandy Teslow **(Corner Pocket)**, Pim **(My Way)**

Marmalukes - Lloyd **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Moose Knuckles - Debbie Berwick **(Future Halloween)**

Muskrat Gravy – Lloyd **(Time-Release Capsule)**

Nutcicles - Pim **(Phillin' In)**

Nutsticks - Lloyd **(Doggie Daycare)**

Oh, Cloudy Skies, I hurt my Pimsy. - Debbie **(Doggie Daycare)**

P. B. & J. - Debbie **(Doggie Daycare)**

Pimified - Danny Dawkins **(Get Ready to Go-Go)**

Pumpkin Head - Mandy Teslow to Phil **(Corner Pocket)**

Rat Snacks - Pim **(My Way)**, **(Time-Release Capsule)**

Scraps **(My Way)**

Scraps and chunks! - Keely **(Doggie Daycare)**

Silly Billy - Debbie **(Doggie Daycare)**

Slappy – Pim **(Doggie Daycare)**

Smarty-Trousers - Lloyd says instead of Smarty Pants **(Doggie Daycare)**

Stinkin' Cool - Keely **(Age Before Beauty)**

Sweet barrel of pickled possums - Henrietta Mantis **(Versa Day)**

Sweet Potatoes - Lloyd **(Christmas Break)**

Sweet Strawberry Jam - Pim **(Daddy Dearest)**

Ta-_Dow!_ - Keely **(My Way)**

Turtles of Titan - Lloyd **(Ill of the Future)**


	14. Future Technology

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

**Dedications: Technology**

I dedicate this term paper on the cutting edge of the applied science frontier to Junior Science Squad Captain Pim Diffy who's captivated me with her resounding encyclopedic knowledge of science. There's no carbon-based life form more deserving of the position of Squad Captain than the one who can wield annelid mastery to dissect a wild pack of marauding fashion zombies. Truly, the worm is mightier than the zombie which it ingests!- Snooger

.

Author's Note: There's a poll on my author's page that poses the question as to YOUR favorite Future Tech. If you've become fuzzy over the various contraption used by the Diffys, go ahead and please take a gander below. Speaking of ganders, on my author's page are a few great websites for Phil of the Future Technology close-ups, along with behind-the-scenes looks at the Phil of the Future sets, a PotF commercial from Japan showing the time machine as a four-seater sports-car configuration and a couple of PotF online games.

**CH14 Future Technology**

**Time Machine:**

Fleet Flyer 6000 time-travel machine - Diffys' time machine which is rented from Mel's Used Time Machines and Waterslide (**Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out)**

Time Flyer 2000 time-traveling machine - Andy Baxley's graduation gift.** (Team Diffy)**

Anomaly Sequencer - handles minor variations in the timeline caused by ripples created by other time travelers **(Future Tutor)**

Booster Pump - Lloyd thinks that he should have changed it when he saw the flashing red light, but he thought it was the wiper fluid. **(Team Diffy)**

Box - The drawer-sized safe aboard the Time Machine, locked with nose recognition: "Nose Verified. Lloyd Diffy." It's easy to pick a nose (snicker) lock with a facsimile nose mold, courtesy of Thompsons Nose Mold kit.** (Future Jock)**

Cloak - high-tech camouflage to make the time machine look like a goofy R.V. in this century, a la a working TARDIS in Dr. Who. Curtis likely thought he was crawling into a recessed cave entrance for safety when he accidentally became trapped inside the Time Machine's storage compartment as it was powering up to go into flux.** (Future Tutor)**

Element Condenser - Consider a cube as three-dimensional, a square is two, so a (time) line is one dimensional. The Element Condenser refracts the energy of the time machine to form a temporal singularity, which is a time-equivalent of a black hole - making points of a timeline contained into a single point. This now makes travel between any two points in time possible. **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Exhaust Residue is diamonds, likely internally flawless decolored brilliants, AKA "fish bowl rocks." **(Christmas Break)**

Hysterical Fuel Cells - the power source for the Time Machine, hysterical because they are able, but just barely able to handle the enormous strain of tearing through and about rips in the space-time continuum. You think next Friday's exam is a pressure cooker? You don't know pressure. Pressure is cruising down the ever changing time corridors to manage to find my way back while two kids bicker in my backseat while my rental driver is checking his teeth for spinach in my review mirror instead of paying attention to my Booster Pump, and AHHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! They're all nuts, I tell you! N. U. T. S. - NUTS! Especially the driver! No, the girl! The Driver! The Girl! ... and you people wonder why I crap diamonds? AHHHHHHH!** (Phil of the Garage)**

Nitrogen Booster - because, despite making up four-fifths of the planetary atmosphere, N2 has low self-esteem and appreciates support. "Go Nitrogen!" **(Future Tutor)**

Particle Tube - be sure to read the manufacturer's warning label, because if this ignites it will cause the element condenser to refract the energy of the time machine into a parabolic curve which will create a duality of temporal time ... which will put the time machine in need of repairs for months ... if you're lucky **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Photon Conduits - mailing container-sized transparent cylindrical pipes which act as high capacity fiber optics. These perform dual functions, bending photons and tachyons during time travel to improve the Element Condenser's efficiency, and harmonizing the resonance of the Cloak's camouflaged image when the time machine is not in flux. **(Phil of the Garage)**

Self-Propelled Spark Rods - watch out because if they ignite, they'll **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Temporal Photonic Beam Splitter - perches atop the time engine, rotating as it fractures coherent temporal energy into discernible quantum pathways in which to traverse eternity. This is substantially more sophisticated than your average disco ball, and maybe even more than even a waffle iron. **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**

Sync Generator - Andy Baxley ran a Phase Check and detected a signal from the Diffys' sync generator, prompting him to drop in on the disabled Diffys. **(Team Diffy)**

Temporal Pump Valve - tapered cylinder eight inches long, and an inch and a quarter to an inch in diameter,** (Happy Nird Day)**

Time Crumpler Component is the blender in the center of the time engine, creates a velocity field around it that is similar to the Wizrd's hyperspeed function; can create a Time Vortex/Time Hole where people can fall into, which can even become a Time Donut that redeposits people in the vicinity of the local departure point where they fell into it. Time Jumps, as Phil explains to Keely. **(Dinner Time)**

Time Engine - seen in its entirety in **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**, this amalgam of busted parts is what keeps the Diffys from going bye-bye.

Time Engine's CPU - sees, talks, emotionally unstable right now; not as bad off as the Hysterical Fuel Cells, mind you; still, this has been a trying episode in its existence so, if you could, a hug would be just the thing right now to get it through the next 4.3 microseconds. **(Phil of the Garage)**

View Screen - virtual front windshield, it can simulate the exterior view of the path before the time machine and just as easily become a display providing visual representation of settings and conditions of the time machine **(Future Tutor)**

Wave Generator - Lloyd want's Phil's help calibrating it. In appearance, it resembles a small fire hydrant with only two side hose connectors and with cables coming out its bottom. (I hope Lloyd can get it back in place.) **(Future Tutor)**

The time machine travels through the 8th dimension, but there's time traffic, and space ramps, the age of giant insects, ... it's slightly less dangerous than the Los Angeles freeway system. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

Outward appearance of the activation of a time machine as it goes into flux **(Future Tutor):** sonic boom and bright orange light and then a sonic shimmy. **(Team Diffy)** The time machine's exterior dimensions appear to be squashed, then stretched as it transitions from normal space-time to the time corridors. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

Diffys traveled to prehistoric times, then swung round to the French Revolution and were heading for home because Lloyd had to go to work. **(You Say Toe-mato)**,

Pim needed to go to the bathroom, so they stopped in 2003 Pickford. **(Christmas Break)**

At some time, they stopped during the days of churning butter. **(Corner Pocket)**

"Thanks to the Diffys Law" places more restraints on time travel. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

Time Storm - if not for Phil burning out to time engine by not resetting the temporal pump valve the Diffys would have to have driven in to a time storm and been trapped there, like that enormous time storm which trapped the Jacobsons. What? You don't remember them? Exactly! **(Christmas Break)**

.

**Afterburner** - Please see "Skyak" below **(Phillin' In)**

**Airshoes** - for walking in midair; this functional "footware" generates pillars of "hard air" beneath their soles which allows the wearer to go one better than walking on water **(Phil of the Future Video Game)**

**Alarm Clock** - with Holographic Sprite of Phil playing the drums to start his day off right; this does beg the questions as to what Pim's does to have her wake up evil each day **(Happy Nirday)**

**Android Models:**

Exercise Buddy 3000 - in Thompsons Cybernetic Catalog** (Future Halloween)**

Household Robot -** (Dinner Time)****  
**Shiny metallic surface in humanoid form  
Remember to set its defense lasers to "stun" for the party so it won't fry your guests.

J-6 Robot - Lloyd mentions that he found one. Yeah, right, Lloyd; "found." **(Future Halloween)**

Party Host 3000 - in Thompsons Cybernetic Catalog, for people who don't want to attend their own soirées. **(Future Halloween)**

Robby "the Robot" - **(Virtu-Date)****  
**Titanium endoskeleton, yet "slimy", inflicting tired pick-up lines on female customers.  
Physically stronger than humans  
On-off switch is inside its nose.  
Model 243T  
Polite, yet condescending attitude toward any competing "flesh boy." Don't hold it against Robby; it's just embedded in his programming.

Soda Jerk 3000 - **(Virtu-Date)****  
**Cube-shaped with blinking lights and nozzles.  
Dispenses and serves tasty ice cream confections.

Sugar & Spice 800 - **(Future Halloween)****  
**Designed to do good deeds and make the world a better place, this series of androids became more and more unstable (crazier and crazier), finally becoming evil, resulting in all the surviving units being disposed of in the early 21st Century. (Oh, and their appearance is that of Deborah Hortence Berwick! Draw your own conclusion.)

Recharges in back of neck with power crystal on the end of a wand.  
Physically stronger than humans  
Able to block Wizrd zaps  
Tended to overheat and melt into a puddle of sweet black goo.

Thompsons Cybernetic Catalog describes the model thus:  
HT: 56", WT: 100 lbs., (rather retro using English units of measure)  
Personality: Nice,  
Affordable, Playful,  
AC Adapter, (no mention of a power crystal recharge port at the base of the neck)  
cooks, cleans, helps around the house, puts a smile on your face.

.

**Astrospa** - what Lloyd would install if he had more room **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

**Beard Trimmer** - 22nd Century razor that adds and even styles, as well as removes facial hair; five green rings at the base of it's narrow aluminum-colored cylindrical body that terminates in a transparent crystal which glows red when activated**. (Happy Nirday), (Phil of the Future Gadgets & Gizmos)**

**Christmas trees:** - **(Christmas Break)**

SH900 Fully Programmable Astro Tree - Lloyd's favorite. Go to Mel's and tell 'em Lloyd sent you!

Robotree - it may just be the advertising, but why take chances once a year by purchasing this crazy killer Christmas tree? Take Mel's advice and buy an Astro Tree instead - it's guaranteed not to kill you, or your money back!

**Cinespecs** - **(Milkin' It), (Phil of the Future Gadgets & Gizmos)**

For watching movies, mega definition video with ultra surround sound, blue frames, black lenses, red flashing light on right side

Hit 22nd Century Movies: GalactaGirl; GalactaGirl II: Zombie Invasion; My Summer in the Country trilogy

**Comet Racing** - (Please see Remote Comet Racing below) **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

**Comfa-cliner** - the lounge chair Phil lays out on to go to school in the future, contoured frame with multicolored sausage-shaped cushions running horizontally along its length **(Future Tutor)**, **(Phil of the Future Books)**

**Cyber Catalogue** - 22nd Century home shopping virtual catalogue **(Phil of the Future Gadgets & Gizmos)**

**DNA Scrambler** - **(Phenomonally Yours)**, **(Phil of the Future Gadgets & Gizmos)****  
**Already outdated technology in 2121, the scrambler was used by Rex, Lloyd's old college roommate when he had too many girls chasing after him.  
Alters human physiology instantly  
Also works on cadavers, as witnessed by Phil at his uncle's funeral.

**DressMe Hoop** - recalibrated to add new outfits for Barbara; the DMH works in conjunction with the DMH garment and reconfigures the SmartTextile™ to match whatever texture, color and cut of the garment programed into the DMH. **(Happy Nird Day)**

**Food 5,000 Yummilizer** - looks like chaffing dish, has optional voice activation which instructs it to materialize whatever food item is mentioned. Utilizes Wizrd technology, but only within an organic consumables range of outputs. **(Dinner Time)**

**Fybel** - Phil's musical instrument which he blows, hits and strums. (Sneaky! Dan Fybel is a PotF staff writer.) **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

**Giggle** - It replace the thing which replaced the thing which replaced the internet in pay-per-view battle royal. Physical configuration is a red palm-sized triangle which lights up when activated. The Giggle requires a monitor in which to observe its data, as well as, pose it queries. Constantly updating itself, it contains the knowledge of everyone and everything up until 2121 when the Diffys traveled back in time. The most significant factor of the Giggle was demonstrated by it providing different futures for Keely Teslow, hence the future is malleable. Now, if they only had thought to use it to locate the missing components of the time machine. **(The Giggle)**

**Gravity Warp Afterburner** - Please see "Skyak" below **(Phillin' In)**

**Greenemia** - semi-common "entertainment disease" of the future, developed as a prank weapon during the Heckler Revolt of 2038, this designer disease never achieved its intended epidemic capability; nevertheless, it has persisted into the 22nd Century because the world government refuses to spend one credit to deal with pranks and practical jokes - their official policy is "Practical jokes aren't." While Greenemia can remain dormant in the body for weeks and can be highly contagious upon activation, its symptoms run their course within twenty-four hours leaving no after effects.

Stage One, the infected individual will experience a rapid reversal of their most essential personality trait(s); this may include habitually nice and tidy people exhibiting crude and unkempt behaviors with a lacking of empathy toward loved ones, generally honest individuals failing lie detector tests completely, and maniacal despots finding themselves filled with sugar and sunshine. **(Ill of the Future)**

Stage Two, an additional symptom surfaces by changing the epidermis to a green hue with dark freckles; altered personalities persist with some victims reportedly having their reversed behavior becoming more extreme

Stage Three, the good news is that the behavior modifying effects of Greenemia have passed. Oh, the bad news? Have you looked in the mirror lately? Between your green skin and that long white beard you're now sporting, you'd make a great Handsome Town Troll - maybe that's good news, too?

**Hologram** - Self-projecting hologram of Great, Great Grandpa Kyle Speckle. Since Barbara Diffy declares that her cherished hologram of her great grandpa Kyle was taken in 2006, either Kyle was hanging around the senior holography club, or the hologram was actually created through simulation and Grandma Speckle just told Barbara that the hologram originated in 2006, and she believed her. **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

**Homework Helmet** - **(Future Tutor)** and **(Phil of the Future Video Game)****  
**gray with flashing lights scattered about surface and sporting a large gold full-face visor  
How Phil goes to school in 2121 **(Future Tutor)****  
**Does Phil and Keely's homework. **(Phil of the Future Video Game)**

**HUE-GOO-GO** - Please see "Scanalyzer" below. **(Virtu-Date)**

**Insta-morph** - **(Neander-Phil)**, **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

Not the same as the Replicator below. Although it also functions by scanning an individual or a picture of same, the Insta-morph, rather than replicating a person in the form of an energy clone, alters the form of a person to the specifications of another. Not merely the Brain Exchange function of a Wizrd, as portrayed in **(Neander-Phil)**.

**Invisa-spray** - housed in a narrow canister, this spray provides temporary invisibility. Normally, an apple absorbs all colors except red, which is reflected so the apple appears red. The Invisa-spray's micro beads of dark matter absorb all colors in the visible light portion of the electromagnetic spectrum, thus rendering a person or object sprayed with it invisible for a period of three minutes, give or take. After this time, the dark matter beads goes into hiding like the rest of the dark matter in the universe, and the effect of invisibility is neutralized and there is no evidence of its being used, including side-effects.**(Double Trouble)**

**Iwantstraighthair** - Pim's hairwand which she uses to straighten her "tumbleweed" hair. The wand's hår field reconfigures protein bonds of hair follicles from flat or ovoid, to round, thus removing all tendencies for the strands to curl. **(Happy Nird Day)**

**KopyKat** - Please see "Insta-morph" above. **(Your Cheatin' Heart)**

**Laser Squash Paddle and Ball (Plork and Glorb)** - **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**, **(Unification Day)****  
**Server has control of the glorb. The receiver sets the perimeter with his plork. After that, it's basically tennis. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)****  
**"So then I only cheer when you win the dimension and get a swack by hitting the glorb." **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)****  
**Swacks are good. Stir-banger is a great shot. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)****  
**Hay Maker, Crop Duster, and Knuckle Buckler **(Unification Day)**

**Milk Engine** - Invented by Amerigo Pelosi in 2075, it ran on low-fat milk instead of nonexistent petroleum products. From the evident simplicity of Pelosi engine mounted on a scooter, as well as Phil's decision to build a milk engine to power Keely and his invention submission, it's reasonable to assume its construction is relatively simple and not time consuming. Additionally, as Phil intended to operate the engine within the confines of the school auditorium, it can be surmised that the emissions from the milk engine are non-toxic. The Pelosi Milk Engine will be responsible for a resurgence in the bovine population, which had been thinned globally to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by way of their flatulence. **(Milkin' It)**

**New Ager** - Handheld device with gun grip that controls the age of a biological subject, be it a banana, dead plemon tree, or teenager, transforming the subject to be younger or older by activating different segments of the subject's genome then presently being utilized. **(Age Before Beauty)** Additionally, it has a button on the side that will only age the behavior of the subject (I wonder how an older banana behaves). **(Maybe Sitting)** The New Ager is shaped rather alike a radar gun with a gun grip, green light, and a large flat display panel on top of New Ager is at a 20-degree tilt to display the operator with the its current setting as they are adjusted before it is activated in a projection of green energy. **(Age Before Beauty)**, **(Phil of the Future Gadgets & Gizmos)**

**Omnimatic Grabifiers** - like laser suction cup gloves, black gloves with white stripes, activated, they are accented by blue lights mid-fingers and at last knuckles; when in use, segmented blueish-white arcs encircle twice around the gloves while blue and orange pulses of light travel up the streaming orange rain of energy emanating from the gloves' fingers. Using intense, yet diffused laser energy emitted by from the gloves' fingertips, air is heated in quasi-conical regions surrounding the orange energy streams, creating localized low pressure regions which are sufficient to easily lift a full-sized adult 60 centimeters, or elevate a thirteen year old to the second story level. **(Tanner)**

**Penny Missile** - shaped vaguely in the shape of a travel-size roll-on deodorant, it's actual an efficient kinetic energy capacitor capable of aerially launching object skyward, lobbing it in an arc. The Penny Missle is equally functional when used to transfer kinetic energy to a person with very limited control of motion. Activated, the Penny Missile first requires a few seconds to build up a store of potential energy before it can be released in a single direction. The arcing effect is not a function of the device, but rather the result of simple physics due to the propulsive source not being placed at the attached object's center of gravity. **(Future Jock)**

**Proton Batteries** - power future gadgets, including the Skyak, which are the largest batteries of any of the Diffys' gadgets. Based on the bonding between quarks and their gluons inside protons, upon activation, these batteries release energy by weakening the gluons' hold upon their quarks. Provided with downtime, the gluons will gradually reestablish their subatomic bonds and, thus self-recharge the Proton Batteries. Oddly enough, Lloyd discovers that he can substitute a couple of 6-volt lantern batteries for all the Diffy family's Proton Batteries. This indicates the superior energy efficiency of future technology. **(Happy Nird Day)**

**Remote Comet Racing** - (also called Comet Racing) handheld remote is gripped in one hand and manipulated by the other; "comet" has the attributes of speed, heat and the characteristic tail of its namesake. Flying one too close to a person can leave the unfortunate observer scorched. **(Virtu-Date)**; mentioned in** (It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

**Replicator** - The Replicator creates near perfect energy clones, which, though cooperative for the most part, recognize that they are replicants and the Diffys have created them to do work, not have fun or be treated as equals. Pim creates Jake from catalog for her dance date by scanning a model's image from a catalog **(Get Ready To Go-Go)**. Barbara uses it to replicate herself for taking in groceries and laundry, and the Kids replicate Lloyd for school assembly**(Daddy Dearest)**. Phil creates two replicants of himself **(We'll Fix It In Editing)**, and Mr. Hackett **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**, then one imperfect copy of Keely** (Tia, Via, or Me-Uh)**. When Lloyd is scanned slowly, his replicant is of equal intelligence, but when Phil finds himself having to quickly scan Keely, the imperfect scan results in an imperfect replicant. While compliant and adaptable, there has been no observation of the replicants having the same memories of the originals, only their characteristics and tendencies, such as Jake's penchant for modeling poses or Lloyd's dorkiness and "dying-pig" laugh.

**Scanalyzer**- named in Phil of the Future Books #2 The Great Fake-Out) - the mini-wizrd, used by Lloyd in first episode to pick out school clothes, by Pim to scan Debbie's raisin-bearing scone, Phil's head communicating with Pim **(Double Trouble)**; another name for Wardrobe-o-gram **(Phil of the Future Books #1 Stuck in Time)**; AKA HUE-GO-GO **(Virtu-Date)**

**Skyak:**  
The skyak shunts 99.9-percent of it's own mass and that of its two riders into another P-brane dimension there by allowing incredible thrust to be exerted upon a minuscule mass, as a moon rocket's thrust being utilized by a mere hummingbird. This same dimensional shunting of mass also permits the riders to achieve such speeds without being crushed by extreme changes in velocity during acceleration, deceleration, and radical in flight maneuvering.

Activated, it expands from a palm-sized blinking and cooing orb. Returns to an orb once more when no longer in use.  
Strapless helmets with extended rear lip appear when the Skyak's orb is activated.  
With optional Afterburner Card to operate the Gravity Warp Afterburner; a skyak can pull nine gees using its Gravity Warp Afterburner.**(Phillin' In)**  
Maneuvers: Vertical Flapjack & Hurricane Bend **(Phillin' In)**  
Colored like an Astropop: Red nose, yellow middle, and blue lighted fins in the rear with a silver forward thrust exhaust cone and four silver vertical thrust ports on the underside in a "Y" formation all surrounded by a large circle. (I've always figured that this circle covered up the connection to large springs that are commonly used at city park playgrounds for those rocking animals for little kids. This would provide the rocking motion that is seen in the Diffys' backyard when Phil gets on the Skyak.)** (Phillin' In)**  
If observed, people would just report a UFO.** (Raging Bull)**

**Spray Food Cans** - Silver cylinders with three black circles around top and bottom of body and blue glowing circle of light at the base of the tube, while it sprayed by shaking it and then pressing a finger against the side of its two inch long white straw-shaped nozzle. The last word in aerosol spray meals, each can provides a single cuisine: Spray Brownies **(Future Tutor)**; Spray Donuts **(Age Before Beauty)**; Spray Unification Loaf, Turkey, Kung Pow Chicken; Beef Stroganoff **(Unification Day)**. It takes a dedicated family of four three months to eat a can's supply when mixed with other foods. **(Unification Day)**

**Sunglasses** - for seeing in the dark as if the sun was out **(Phil of the Future Video Game)**

**scan cure** - Lloyd tells Barbara to give cold-suffering Mr. Hackett the scan cure and then get rid of him **(Mummy's Boy)**. Obviously, it can not cure every ailment, or it would have been used to treat Greenemia.

**Thompsons Nose Mold kit** - change your appearance, fool your friends. Thompsons does not endorse the use of their product for illegal entries. **(Future Jock)**

**Time Travel Laws, Rules, and Consequences****  
**"Thanks to the Diffys Law" places more restraints on time travel. Enough so Lloyd stated that the Diffys could never return to present day Pickford. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)****  
**Time Travelers are never to reveal that they are from the future to present dayers. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)****  
**Time travelers will momentarily fade away as a warning that a critical juncture is being crossed that may alter the future and wipe them from existence **(Not-So-Great, Great, Great Grandpa)**

.

**Time Traveling Uniforms:**

Gray:  
A simple jumpsuit sporting on the left chest both a bar code and then the word "DIFFY" below it.  
Entire Family **(Future Tutor)** and **Title Sequence****  
**Lloyd turned into a baby. This can be interpreted as it being used as regular clothing in the future, as well, perhaps fancy duds for "going" to work, or dressing up nicely for a family outing in time. **(Age Before Beauty)**

Blue & Silver:  
Royal blue jumpsuit with wide free-standing silver arches anchored at the back's waistband and one arcing over each shoulder and anchoring in the front just below each shoulder.  
Entire Family **(Christmas Break)****  
**Phil and Keely in Hackett's backyard **(Where's the Wizard?)****  
**Lloyd only **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

**Tools, Lloyd's tools from the future****  
**his tools are not for wood and nails, but are extremely, extremely sensitive, calibrated to future plastic and composites **(Phil of the Garage)****  
**no doubt he used them along with the duct tape to fix up the time machine **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

**tracking device**- small pyramidal-shaped device placed on a flat surface so it will locate Skyaks and project their locations on a projected holographic gridded topographical map above the device, complete with coordinates. **(Phillin' In)**

**Traction Shoes** - utilizes the van der Waals effect for walking on ice without slipping **(Phil of the Future Video Game)**

**Virtu-goggles** - for virtual reality fun: visits to future mall and playing "Queen of the Ants"; gold-colored frames with oversized red lenses **(Virtu-Date)**

**Virtu-teacher** - preprogrammed lessons with the occasional commercial, sort of what PBS is turning into to survive **(Future Tutor)**

**Wardrobe-o-gram** - another name for Scanalyzer **(Phil of the Future Books #1 Stuck in Time)**

**Wizrd** - Spelling from Lloyd's poster **(Phil without a Future)**; and from printed script. Also seen spelled here on FanFiction as Wizard, and WZRD:  
Rotating front antenna,  
Flip up mini viewing screen with another screen under it.  
Lit up translucent inverse wings that spring out from the front sides.  
Curves on each side in the middle of the Wizard which glow when it's activated.  
Has sprite with some attitude inside to interface with user for reminders, etc. **(Happy Nirday)**

Shrinks people **(My Way)****  
**Voice Modulator **(My Way)****  
**Hyperspeed function. **(Dinner Time)****  
**Used to store back up of school report **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**Used to make medicine ball lighter in P.E. **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Used to erase Keely's phone number from boy's bathroom wall **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**Wizjack in it lets a missing Wizrd be tracked down **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**Pudding is the only substance that can block a Wizrd's signal. **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**Adds muscles and hair to Hackett and his dog Roswell **(Where's the Wizard?)****  
**Androider Attachment, experimental and barely legal, with one zap gives a person (Pim) the rock hard muscles of an android. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

Molecular recomposition: turns Keely into a tree. **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)****  
**Upgrades the cafeteria food **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)****  
**Communication device using small screen **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)** or projected holograms **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**Function on Wizrd that interprets animal sounds, even works on amphibians.** (Doggie Daycare)****  
**Materializes horse clown (hardly a preset setting! What goes on in Hackett's mind?) **(Where's the Wizrd?)**

Creates holographic geniuses **(Good Phil Hunting)****  
**Called the "Astrolator" by Lloyd and Phil when pretending to be aliens to retrieve the Wizrd from Hackett **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**To be used to give Keely great big zits from head to toe **(Where's the Wizrd?)****  
**Can zap a person into a catatonic state is Phil did to Myron. **(Raging Bull)****  
**Can zaps painfully, as Andy Baxley did. **(Team Diffy)**

Brain Exchange trades the minds of individuals, even over large distances. **(Neander-Phil)****  
**Lloyd forgets to check the Wizrd's Attenuation Diode when he tries to fix the smashed Wizrd. **(Neander-Phil)**


	15. Timeline

Disclaimer: I don't own Phil of the Future. I just love the series!

**Author's Note**: _Locker Notes just earned over five thousand hits. I promised myself that I'd landmark the event when it occurred, so here's the final chapter of "Everything," plus a wee bit more. Scattered among the chapters are new mini-stories like this one, the latest being Chapter Nine, more to come. Enjoy, be inspired, or at least less aggravated enjoying "Everything You Have Ever Wanted To Know About PotF." As always, "Everything" will be quietly updated and polished, enhanced and fortified with eight vitamins and iron even with its new "complete" status. Ta-Dow! - CN_

_._

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My fingers brushed along the clean edges of cameo before my neck. Time. Time. What is that old saying? "Time ... if we only had enough time?" Something like that. Already, my husband had changed gears, hurtling their rental time machine back to 2005 to retrieve the family's caveman, and then ... and then ... what? Back to the future, back to furniture which had opinions and fried foods that were healthy? Back to music that heals, androids which clean, and pet voting rights, yes, back to all that. I sighed, yet no matter how closely you listened, there was no way of know if it signaled relief, or despair. Didn't really matter, I surmised. In the end, the decision for them to return had already been made and passed into law, but, for the first time since she nearly smashed the time engine last night, I truly regretted leaving Pickford.

Before me was not simply my future, but Lloyd, busy trying to navigate the time corridor back to Pickford in 2106 without running headlong into our own selves leaving, as well as getting ready to stop on a dime in the right moment. Oh, he'd just done so for Phil to say goodbye to Keely, but anyone could get lucky once in a while; Lloyd often replied as such when asked how he managed to marry me.

Glancing backward, I watched my children. Pim, I expected her to be going through her inventory of early previous century treasures, not for reminiscences about her adventures in that small town, but for what she could sell the items for. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Pim was looking at her big brother. Usually, that meant trouble as in something was about to explode in Phil's shoes or Pim would be placing something scaly with many sharp teeth down his back. Something was wrong, very wrong in the best way. Pim looked ... compassionately, even empathetically, at Phil,and Phil looked ... would there be enough time?

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'

CH15 Timeline

From a linear timeline point of view, our favorite story presents itself thus:

Neolithic Age: While Lloyd and Phil are trying to retrieve the keys to the time machine, they rescue a Cro-Magnon fella from a hole in the ground. **(Meet the Curtis)**

Late 16th Century: On an unplanned outing without their children, Lloyd and Barbara take in the the first part of the premiere of **Romeo and Juliet**, only to have their fun cut short by Curtis telling them to hurry home. Teenager in trouble at a party while their parents are out of the house ... classic. **(Dinner Time)**

Colonial America: The Diffys still on vacation stop in for a visit. Barbara picks up the finer points of butter churning whilst her fair-haired daughter gets bitten by a duck. **(Corner Pocket)**

1776 December 25: **Georgie Washington** crosses the Delaware River with Curtis along on the ride just for the fishing. **(Dinner Time)**

French Revolution: The Diffys' last stop before stopping for a potty and shopping break in 2003.**(You Say Toe-mato)** This may have been where Pim "picked up" the Mona Lisa, which she's spotted in her bag of loot when preparing to return to the future in 2006. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

Mid 18th to Early 19th Century: **Pickford Mission** founded by Friar Fred - **(Team Diffy)**

1850: **Ira Pickford** - Tomato pioneer who never found the gold he was searching for (Miner '49er?), but finds "red gold." Town of Pickford is built on his hard work and sweaty back. (actual founder) **(You Say Toe-Mato)**

Pre 1866: **Andy Baxley** visits and pants Abraham Lincoln. **(Team Diffy)**

1865:** Eziekiel Pickford** brings the Yuletide Star tree decoration from Pickfordshire, Nevada to Pickford, California. **(Christmas Break)**

1898: Future H. G. Wells's Nurse Alasia is born. **(**Broadcast Blues)

1953: Meteor hits Pickford, California and is discovered by Sarah Beakman, ketchup factory worker, calls local scientist Virgil Touchi. (**We'll Fix It In Editing**)

1969: Neil Hackett is born in Woodstock, New York in a drum circle. **(Stuck In the Meddle With You)**

1989 Late February-Early March: Keely is born. **(Happy Nirday)****  
**

1990s: Neil Hackett tours as a professional ballroom dancer for six years with The Curtsies. **(Age Before Beauty)**

1998: Nathan Messerschmitt breaks his first item: his mother's water. Thus, a new destructive force is unleashed upon the world**. (Maybe-Sitting)**

1998 November: Keely previous meal redecorates Tara Shrader's shoes during the Thanksgiving play. **(My Way)**

1999: At age 10, Keely claimed to her mother that her pet hamster was taken by the Hamster Liberation Front. **(Versa Day)****  
**

Early 21st Century: This time zone becomes the designated dumping ground for the defectively designed Sugar & Spice androids. Whatever the reason justifying the early part of this century suitable for evil powerful synthetic humans, it can't be good, can it? (whimper) **(Future Halloween)**

Early 21st Century: Barbara's side of the family, the** Speckles**, come to live in the United States. **(Not-So-Great Great Great Grandpa)  
**

2002 December: Neil Hackett is Christmas Prince.** (Christmas Break)**

2003 December: Diffys arrive in Pickford for some last minute Christmas shopping and so Pim could go to the bathroom and instead Lloyd purchases a house; Phil's unintended disregard for temporal valve maintenance results in the family being stranded in the early 21st Century; Keely is Christmas Princess. **(Christmas Break)**

2004 January: Phil and Pim start school at H. G. Wells dressed to thrill.** (Future Tutor)**

2004 January: After the election, Mayor Johnny Da Luca replaces Mayor Percy.

2004 February: Phil reveils to Keely that his family is from the future. **(You Say Toe-mato)**

2004 February: **Stowaway caveman is discovered**, renamed Curtis and taken in by the Diffys. **(Meet the Curtis)**

2004 February-March: Phil misses Keely's birthday. **(Happy Nirday)**

2004 Summer: Tia Chen moves away, but remains within Keely's cell phone plan. **(Tia, Via, or Me-Uh)**

2004 Fall: Owen Norad **(Mummy's Boy)**, shortly followed by Olivia "Via" **(Tia, Via, or Me-Uh)** move to Pickford and enroll at H. G. Wells Jr./Sr. High School.

2004 Fall: Curtis and his assistant Lloyd begin their 21st Century employment at Mantis Hardware. **(Versa Day)**

2004 December: It's uncovered that Phil, and not Lloyd, was responsible for the damage to the time machine - and that in doing so, he saved them all. **(Christmas Break)****  
**

2005: Diffys head back to the future, but then turn around to pick up Curtis. **(Back To the Future, Not the Movie)**

2006 February 21: Hologram of Kyle Speckle is created. This hologram portraying Kyle gluing up the surface of a basketball only exists with the Diffy family, since Kyle both gave up pranking and was nevertheless subsequently enrolled in a military school where he straightens up and flies right ... or does he? After all, the hologram does exist, girls do love the bad boys, and he will meet his future bride in military school, so this hologram could have been taken before he gave up pranking at military school. Therefore, the Diffys remain in the 21st Century at least until shortly after February 21, 2006 because the hologram does not fade away as the Speckle-gened members of the Diffy family almost did. **(Not-So-Great Great Great Grandpa)**

2007 June: Keely Teslow graduates high school.

2009 June: Pim's classmates graduate high school.

2016: Chores for kids are abolished! **(Virtu-Date)** Yes, robotic advances makes it all possible, along with the lowering of the voting age for the first time this century. (Yes, thanks writers, just too late for most of the kids watching the series. Thhbbt! Corn flakes!)

2030 January-February: Thirty-year-old Keely Teslow broadcasts her news story from Moon Base One, on, well, the Moon. I guess Pim finally does get her wish. Oh, and Keely's wearing a wedding ring ... maybe I should have mentioned that first? **(The Giggle)**

2036: **Smart pills **outlawed ... one kid takes too many and gets really obnoxious. Yes, more than Myron. Yes, more than Owen. Can you believe it? Even worse than how Phil treats his sister when his parents aren't looking. Even worse than Pim ... never mind. **(The Giggle)**

2038: **Heckler Revolt**: ends up outlawing stand-up comedy. **(Dinner Time) **Typical hecklers, shooting off their mouths without thinking. If they had given it just a little thought, then it would have been know as the "Hecker Revolution" instead and Lloyd ... no, Lloyd still wouldn't have been able to make a career out of it. Maybe Barbara though...

2043: Ricky Singh, once a contemporary classmate of Phil's back at H. G. Wells, invents the** first Wizrd** - Wizrd is spelled "WIZRD" on Lloyd's handmade flyer for Phil at the job fair. "I shall call you 'Future Probe,' - no, Wizrd."** (Phil Without a Future)**

2049: The attempt to clone original Lincoln results in evil Abraham LinCLONE, with twirling hypnotic eyes earning himself the moniker "Stinkin' Lincoln." **(It's a Wonder-Phil Life)**

2053: Extraterrestrial alloy discovered is employed immediately into the hard currency system, including being acceptable as payment for dinner in 2056. **(Christmas Break)**

2056: When the Diffys are heading to at Carb City, but then the time machine breaks down in Pickford 2003. **(Christmas Break)**

2058: As petroleum reserves dwindle out of existence, a new paradigm occurs in ground transportation by the effective reproduction and utilization of annelid mucous. This provides rapid, low friction, and thus fuel-efficient mid-21st century ground transportation with the last of the planet's oil. **(****Versa Day**)

2075: Amerigo Pelosi invents the **Milk Engine** when the world's oil reserves are depleted. Runs on lowfat milk. **(Milking It)**

2079: Little toes disappear throughout the human race.** (You Say Toe-mato)**

Pre 2095: Time travel invented, and along with it, time traveling paradoxes. This new form of transportation across the 4th dimension needs rules.

2095: International Unification Treaty of 2095 - _includes time-traveling laws_ **(Phil of the Future Books #1 Stuck in Time)**

2095: UNIFICATION DAY - when all countries become one **(Unification Day)  
**What does this mean? **World Peace.** (_yes, it gets capitalized!_)  
Unification handshake is wiggling interlacing fingers and asking "Got peace, 'NAME'?  
"Oh Uni-day, oh Uni-day, oh how we love our Uniday."  
Unification Day is more than just about peace; it's about family.  
Uni-loaf = seven foods from seven continents in one delectable loaf - needs one teaspoon of steak sauce!,

2103: Aliens are tested by World Government - two tests only and one of them is a trivia quiz. **(Dinner Time)**

Pre 2107: Lloyd and Barbara's Courting:  
Barbara Speckle almost marries Lloyd Diffy's old college roommate, Rex. **(Phenomonally Yours)  
**Barely able to afford the two tickets, Lloyd takes Barbara out on a commuter space bus for her NIRDay. **(Happy Nirday)  
**Barbara Speckle tries to get through to her mother that she loves Lloyd and doesn't want to marry an astrosurgeon. **(Corner Pocket)  
**Lloyd and Barbara unearth an early 21st Century H. G. Wells time capsule while on one of their romantic picnics. Music box linking Keely and Phil is noticed by fans. **(Time Release Capsule)**

2107: Phil Diffy emerges from his natal pod.

2109: Pim Diffy escapes from her natal pod.

2115: Andy Baxley slips plutonium into his teacher's desk. The teacher grows a second head and blames Phil - Phil never explains to Keely which head blames him.** (Team Diffy)**

Pre 2118: Pim uses the New-Ager on her dad, resulting in his being fired for telling his employer that he had just made a poopie. That stinks. **(Age Before Beauty)**

2121: Diffy family jaunts off on another one of their time traveling vacations.

Post Diffys' Departure: D-I-F-F-Y turns into a four-letter word as "**Thanks to the Diffys Law**" passes placing more restraints on time travel, requiring the Diffys to return to their home century.** (Back to the Future (Not the Movie))**

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.

In a few moments they'd be back home in Pickford, pat Curtis on his head and be faced for the third time today with leaving home. Yes, after almost two years, I could admit it to myself, Pickford didn't just feel like my home; it was home.

Stepping out of the time machine parked in front of the house, I rushed out behind Pim. My daughter was already calling - shouting - for her hairy "uncle." Reflective, I was quieter, slower, taking it all in one last time. My wizrd had recorded every moment of my time here, but it couldn't memorize the feel of real paint on my front porch, dusty from the winds crossing the tomato fields. Stepping inside the open door after Pim, I recalled how quickly she had gotten inside. We hadn't even bothered to lock up before leaving the first or second times and I wondered if we should this time. Our home? I expected it to be just like we left it minutes before, but it wasn't. It felt like a house, empty of purpose, of heart, of "Pim?"

"Found him, Mom! Come on, Curtis. We're going for a ride," announced Pim, Curtis's left ear firmly in her grasp, Curtis's own hands already occupied with the turkey legs that would have been tonight's dinner. Time for another sigh.

Dressed in his time traveling jumpsuit, Lloyd poked his head outside, "Good work, Pimpernickel! No more chairs up front, so Curtis can leave with us the way he arrived. I'll open the hatch."

"Lloyd, there's an empty seat up front right next to you," I corrected, but Lloyd wasn't listening. I adore the man, but sometimes he could miss out on a lot by being so single-minded.

Walla-berries were the answer, as usual, for tricking Curtis back into the storage compartment on the side of the "time camper." Curtis, you see, understood "ride" and wanted to stick his head out of the window - much to dangerous when dealing with temporal flux.

Everyone else was ushered back inside; yes, I locked up the house this time. I also took note of my son, whom my daughter had been taking such an interest in moments before. He was smiling, still happy with himself, before we arrived to retrieve Curtis, but now? Tears well up in one of my eyes, crying for Phil and all he was giving up. No longer smiling himself, he wasn't crying now, maybe he never would. He could rationalize so well, just like his father. Lloyd slammed the door with finality. It was over.

"Pimminy! Check the temporal pump valves, will you?"

"Sure, Popcorn. Wouldn't want to pull a 'Phil' again, now would we?"

Pim's dig at her brother lacked her usual bite. Not that it wasn't a good zinger, it was just that anyone could tell that her heart wasn't in it. No, Pim was different, an improvement upon her old self. Phil ignored her attempts to rattle him out of his doldrums, and I? I decided pass the time with a little reading. Lloyd had taken a little adventure during his test drive of the repaired time machine. Oh, he didn't say anything about it, but that sailor's get up spun yarns all on its own. I wonder if he ...

I pulled out his stored wizrd and took a peek. Oh, he'd been gone a good three weeks! He better have some good explanation for that. That time engine better have needed to be rebuilt completely. Why, when I think how he could have fixed the time engine at any time, but he decided what was best for the family without discussing it with any of us - especially me! Why I'd ... what else is on here?

There it was, the law ordering all time travelers home for good. Lloyd was right; we had no choice. Oh, there were provisions. Even in 2121 there were lawyers and so there were escape clauses, but when your family's surname is plastered across the name of the new law? Well, there was no hope of our ever being allowed to go back an hour, let alone 116 years. Nope, the order to return couldn't be clearer:

.

**ALL TIME TRAVELERS WILL IMMEDIATELY!**

(yes, we know, it's all relative)

**RETURN TO YOUR HOME CENTURY NOW.**

**NO EXCEPTIONS!**

**UPON ARRIVAL, THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER TIME EXCURSIONS WITHOUT OFFICIAL SANCTION.**

.

Yes, it had been written so that people could time travel again - after getting approval from the authorities, and, as I already knew, that wouldn't include us.

Or does it? I looked at my family once again, really looked. Know what they had in common?

"Buckle up. Let's get this show on the road ... again ... finally," Lloyd wasn't smiling this time. Belts clicked into place. My sweet Pim's face was marred by such a frown, and Phil ...

Lloyd started the time machine and I? I unbuckled my restraint and sprang from my chair, placing my hand on his, still clutching the engaged key.

"What are you doing, Barb?"

"Shut it down, Lloyd. It's over."

"Yes, it's over. We have to go - now, Barb. If you'd read -"

"I did read it, Dear." Really, he can be so condescending sometimes. "I don't know why I put up with him."

"What? Who? What happened?"

Oh, I said that out loud? Must be where my kids get it from. "Never mind. The laws says we have to return to our home century. Sweetie, where do you think we are right now? This is our home century now. Lloyd, we're home."

His hand under mine, we turned off the key together. We kissed. Pim threatened to upchuck if we didn't stop immediately, but in the rear view mirror, I could see my son come alive once more, free himself from his chair and start heading out of time machine. I knew where he was going, who he was going to see, and what he'd tell her at last and mean it. The Diffys were here to stay.

_.:|:._


End file.
